Don't Wait

We are a vanishing mist.

Month: March 2020

Fun Activities for Little Ones

March 31, 2020 /

Being quarantined isn’t easy, especially if you have little ones. I’ve been keeping in touch with some of my mom friends who have young kids and this time of social distancing is proving to be tough. I’ve decided a post with some activities to do using materials that are cheap and that you may probably have at home would be helpful.

Before getting into that, though, let me remind you of the importance of spending time with Jesus every day, especially right now. These days can suck the life right out of you. But, filling yourself with Him and His word daily is vital. He is your lifeline that will keep you sustained and filled up as I discussed in THIS post. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Once you do that, Don’t Wait to move onto some of these fun activities that your kids are sure to love.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been homeschooling for 16 years. I also babysit to supplement our income a bit. I homeschooled one of the little guys that I used to babysit during his preschool years (2017 and 2018 school years) and have pulled some pictures of those years with him off of Facebook to share with you. If you try any of these activities with your little ones, please take pictures and share them on the Don’t Wait Facebook page found HERE.

Masking Tape Spider Web

This first activity we did in October around Halloween, but it can be done at any time. I made a spiderweb out of masking tape in a doorway and then gave Rian cottonball “bugs” to throw at the sticky web. He caught lots of bugs and had a blast doing it. This could also be done with wads of paper or any other light material you have at home.

Shaving Cream

Another fun activity is shaving cream. It’s cheap, smells good, and you can use as little or as much as you’d like. I’ve found that squirting it on a cookie sheet helps contain the mess. After writing some letters in the shaving cream, Rian proceeded to pretend his dinosaurs were playing in the snow. Be sure your child is old enough for this activity. You wouldn’t want shaving cream to end up in the eyes or mouth. If your child is too young for this, there is another activity at the end of this post that can be done in its place.

Painting With Water

During my junior and senior year of high school, I took a two year course in early childhood development. My teacher mentioned this next activity and I held onto it until I had children of my own. Pictured below is my youngest when he was 3. I would give him a plastic tub full of water, a paint brush, and a small paint roller. He would go outside and paint the porch from one end to the other. By the time he finished, the side he started with was dry, so he’d start all over again. This is a GREAT project that will keep little ones busy as well as build large muscles and coordination.

Painting Squares

During a unit on shapes, Rian made this cool painting that I believe ended up being framed by his mom. As you can see in the bottom of the picture below on the left, I used painter’s tape to make a grid on a thick piece of art paper. I then let him pick a few colors of paint and told him to fill in all of the white squares until there was no white paper showing. Once the paint was dry, I removed the tape which left perfect squares.

Small, Medium, and BIG Squares!

Also during our unit on squares, I cut small, medium, and big squares out of construction paper. This can be done in a few different ways. You could allow your child to make a collage of squares with no particular way of organizing them. If you choose this method, be sure to talk about the sizes as the pieces are being glued down, “Oh wow, look at that SMALL square. What about that one – is it big or small?” Or you can do this activity to work on following directions as I did with Rian. I first had him glue the big squares down. Next, he glued the medium size squares on top of the large ones. Last, the small squares were added.

Rubber Bands and Soup Cans

Rubber bands and soup cans. That has a nice ring to it! The first time I tried this with Rian, he was a bit too young. He didn’t have the hand strength which caused a good deal of frustration. So, we put it away for a few months. The next time around, it was a huge hit! This activity is super simple. Give your child a handful of rubber bands and any type of tin can. Have him/her put the rubber bands around the can. That’s it! This is another GREAT activity to build those muscles in their hands as well as hand-eye coordination. As you can see from the look on Rian’s face, this took a good bit of concentration.

Fruit Loops and Pipe Cleaners

This activity was both fun and yummy. I gave Rian a red, orange, yellow, green, and blue pipe cleaner along with a handful of fruit loops. He then matched the cereal pieces to the correct color of pipe cleaner and slid them on. This is the perfect way to build small motor skills as well as practice hand-eye coordination. The hole in the fruit loops is the perfect size so they won’t slide off as other pieces are being added. Since we didn’t have any purple pipe cleaners, the purple fruit loops were consumed by a certain 3 year old. Oh, and excuse the laundry pile. It’s an ever-growing pile that never really goes away.

Pipe Cleaners and a Colander

Here is another great activity to work on those hand-eye coordination skills. Flip a colander upside-down and push pipe cleaners through the holes. This captured Rian’s attention for quite some time. For even younger kids, a colander with bigger holes would probably be more appropriate.

Finger Paint With Pudding!!!

This is an activity that I did with all 4 of my children. Pictured below is my youngest child when he was around a year old. He always wanted to paint with his siblings, but I knew the paint would go straight in his mouth. So, finger painting with pudding was the perfect solution! Some of my kids didn’t enjoy this because they didn’t like the feeling of the pudding. Sekai had NO issues with that, though. I think he ate more than he painted. Of course, when he was finished, he went straight to the bathtub.

  • Trying to figure this whole thing out.
  • It tastes delicious!
  • He went straight to the bathtub!

I hope this gives you a few new ideas to keep your kids busy for a bit. If you try any of these, I’d love to see pictures. You can post them on the Don’t Wait Facebook page. And be on the lookout for a few more posts just like this. We will get through this together. Enjoy these days with your sweet babies. You’ve probably heard the saying, “The days go slow, but the years go fast.” There has never been a truer statement about parenting. Remember to draw your strength from Jesus and then have some fun with your kids. And whatever you do, Don’t Wait!

Social Distancing: We Were Not Created For This

March 23, 2020 /

Social Distancing:  the practice of maintaining a greater than usual physical distance from other people or of avoiding direct contact with people or objects in public places during the outbreak of a contagious disease in order to minimize exposure and reduce the transmission of infection.  ~ Mirriam Webster Dictionary

I’m really struggling with this whole social distancing thing.  This is not how we are wired. We were created for community. The Godhead Himself exists in community.  God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. When God created Adam,  “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 2:18 (NIV).  God then brought all of the animals He had created to Adam to see what he would name them. When he was finished, no suitable helper was found.  I had never noticed this before. Out of everything God had already created, there was nothing fit for Adam. Another human being was the only creation that could meet Adam’s needs.  We were made for human interaction. 

I thought I was handling things well until yesterday morning.  We watched our church’s live stream which happened thanks to a very small handful of people.  Just seeing our pastors and worship team and reading comments from our church family affected me way more than I thought it would.  I miss the feeling of community. I miss the deep relationships. I miss the physical contact. I just miss them.

And it’s not just church that I miss.  I miss going for walks and passing people without having to move 6 feet from them.  I miss going to the grocery store and seeing people who are relaxed and are ok with a little chit-chat.  Instead, I see people with fear in their eyes wearing masks and having to wait in line behind pieces of tape at the register so they don’t get too close to the person in front of them.  I miss meeting friends for lunch or coffee at a restaurant. I wish my kids could invite their friends over as we normally do, but we just can’t take any chances. I want my kids to be able to go for walks without having to worry about people yelling out their car windows because they shouldn’t be walking close together (this actually happened to a family in our neighborhood).  I don’t know when life will be normal again and it just makes me sad.  

Trust me, I get it.  I really do. For the sake of our older generation as well as people who are immunocompromised, this is the safest way.  As I shared in last week’s post, my mom and stepdad are in their 70’s. My father-in-law and his wife are in the same age bracket.  My grandfather is 91. All 5 of these people whom I love very much have had health scares in the last few years. Thoughts of them are what remind me of why we’re socially distant at this time.  We must protect the generations ahead of us as well as friends and family with underlying health issues. These are the people that will keep me going.

So, how do we get through the next several weeks like this?  After watching church online yesterday morning and decided to take a walk.  I bundled up (because it’s still pretty cold up here in the northeast) and my husband decided to go with me.  I have to tell you, the deep, uninterrupted conversation as well as the fresh air and sunshine did my heart and mind good.  During these long days, I have decided that I MUST connect with my husband alone every day. That will give us time to vent, talk through the latest scary news, share how we feel our kids are handling things, and talk about anything else that comes up, no matter how big or small. This way, we are not bogging down our children with our own feelings.  If you are a parent, I would encourage you to do the same. Our kids are a bit older, so it’s easy for us to go for a walk or ride without them. But, if you have little ones, set aside time at night or in the morning. It’s easy to get caught up in the craziness around us and neglect that all-important time with our husbands/wives. If you are a single parent, find a friend that you can talk to.  I feel this is vital at this time.

I would also encourage you to find time to get outside when the weather allows and also exercise in some way, even if it’s just for 10-15 minutes.  We have 3 days of rain forecasted for this week, so I’m going to have to get creative. I see Wii Sports, Just Dance, or an online workout in my near future.

Until life returns to our new normal (because I’m sure this experience will change us all in some way), I will remember that God sees us.  And though I am separated from most human contact, I am not separated from the love of Christ.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulations, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8:36, 38-39

This is what I’m hanging onto today.  No matter how distant I am from people, God is not distant from me.  I’m sorry if this post seems dark and gloomy, but it’s just where I am with all of this.  My faith is not shaken and I will continue to say that God is good, no matter the outcome.  But, it’s ok for us to feel a wide range of emotions through this. I will continue to stay at His feet as I cling to Him and to His Word.  It’s the only thing that’s going to get me through. I would encourage you to do the same. I fully believe that making it through this in a healthy way is going to take being intentional about connecting with people in any way we can. DON’T WAIT to do this!  Check on your elderly neighbors. Call them or knock on their door to assess how they are. Of course, stand back if they answer, but I’m sure human interaction will make all the difference for both of you. Facetime, Google Duo, or Skype with friends or family members.  Tomorrow evening we are using Zoom to check in with our Journey Group from church. We typically meet on Tuesday evenings, so Zoom will have to do for now.

 I’d love to hear how you are handling all of this.  Please don’t hesitate to comment on this post or head over to the Don’t Wait FACEBOOK PAGE and post there.  We may not have been created for this, but together with God’s grace and mercy, we will be stronger when all is said and done!  In the upcoming days, make a point to connect with your family, friends, and neighbors. Most importantly, spend time daily with Jesus. He alone can fill you. He will sustain you and keep you in the coming weeks or months.   And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!

An Open Letter to COVID-19 Homeschool Parents From a Seasoned Homeschool Mom

March 18, 2020 /

I’ve gotten some texts today from friends telling me that after homeschooling their children for 2 days, they think I’m amazing and don’t know how I’ve homeschooled my children for the last 16 years.  While the compliments are kind, let me assure you that YOU are the ones that are amazing. I’ll tell you why.

1.  As a homeschool mom, I have all summer and every weekend to look over my children’s work for the year.  I can review, look over lessons, do my research, and plan for the year in a way that works for our family.  You, on the other hand, found out on Sunday that your children’s school was closed and on Monday morning your schooling at home began.  You had no time to plan and prepare.

2.  In a normal homeschool scenario, your child would have tons of classes to pick from at various places such as museums, churches, the zoo, and learning centers.  They could take classes in photography, engineering, writing, or science courses. They could play sports and take cooking, music, and art classes. They could go on field trips, play dates, and join chess clubs.  The sky’s the limit for these guys and we typically have to set a limit on outside activities or we’d never be home. But, you’ve been thrown into a situation where you are pretty much quarantined to your house, so you have no outlet during the day or in the evenings. You can’t take your kids to their usual dance classes or sports practices.  You. Are. Home. Period.

3.  We homeschool moms have had all year to learn along with our kids.  We’ve worked through all of the steps needed to solve that math problem and we know exactly how their curriculum is laid out.  You have not had that advantage. You are jumping into the middle of the school year and have missed the 6 ½ months leading up to this.  So, you’re scrambling to figure everything out.

4.  When I order my curriculum in the summer, I have the advantage of ordering a teacher’s edition if I so desire.  This way, I can teach the lesson (or at least refer to the lesson) and actually have the answers once my kids are finished with their work.  You, on the other hand, do not have that. You probably feel as if you’ve been thrown to the wolves as you try to remember what a prepositional phrase or gerund is.

5.  While homeschooling can be stressful, on any normal day, it’s nothing compared to the level of stress you are all facing.  Currently, our country is in a state that has everyone feeling like their life is upside down. You are dealing with your own emotions along with your children’s and that’s a lot to handle.

In other words, your circumstances are way different than mine.  You are at a serious disadvantage. So, if you’ve made it the last 2 days, you’re amazing!  I’ve seen several Facebook posts from moms who are scrambling to figure all of this out. Let me pass on a few tips that may help.

  1.  I’ve heard several of you say that your kids want to stick to their normal school schedule and get upset if a subject doesn’t take as long as it does at school.  Your homeschool day should not take as long as a regular school day because there are several things you are cutting out. You don’t have to wait for the entire class to line up, bathroom breaks, water breaks, changing classes, and so on.  Most importantly, they are no longer having to wait for an entire class of students to finish work. Once your child is finished and you know they understand, you can move on.  
  2. Our first few weeks of school are always rough.  It takes us a while to get into a groove and figure out exactly how our day should go.  If you or your child have been super emotional or frustrated, that’s totally normal. Give yourself a few weeks to figure things out and to find the schedule that works the best for you.  And if you lose your cool, apologize and move on. We all lash out at times.
  3. Make sure you are taking care of yourself.  Get up a little early for some quiet time before the busyness of the day begins.  Go for a run or walk after school. Put an educational show on for the kids and rest on the couch.  Get everyone in bed on time so you can get a halfway decent night of sleep (if there is such a thing for parents).  
  4. Take breaks!!!  Don’t try to sit for hours on end as you work your way through each child’s work.  You’ll burn out quickly. A ten-minute break can do everyone some good.
  5.  Your doubts are normal.  Am I covering everything with my children that I need to?  Do they fully understand? Are they going to get behind? How will they transition back into school?  All you can do is your best! Pray for strength and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
  6. Help your child work through their emotions.  This is probably your most important role right now.  I’ve loved having my children at home during emotional times in life such as the loss of grandparents.  I can stop what we’re doing and answer questions or console them as they work through their feelings. I know that most teachers are AMAZING at helping their students work through tough times in life.  But, no one knows your child like you. And can you imagine trying to help 20 students work through the emotions that they’re feeling right now? I’ve definitely seen a difference in some of my kids in the last few days.  Children often don’t know how to verbalize their feelings, so they may act out in weird ways. Your children are right where they need to be in the place they feel the safest and that’s right with you.
  7. I was asked today how I get anything else done during the day.  My answer? I don’t. I may get a few dishes in the dishwasher or one load of laundry put in the washing machine, but that’s about it.  My laundry piles up, the bathroom is never spotless, and my countertops are cluttered. I’ve learned to let some stuff go and give chores to my kids so my head stays above water.  They come first right now. In a few years, they will be gone and I’ll have plenty of time to clean.

As you navigate the next several weeks, just know that you have been assigned a huge undertaking.  Don’t judge homeschooling based on this experience. You have it much harder than those of us who homeschool on a regular basis.  I feel for you because our school days are pretty normal right now. Yours are not. Ask God for strength. He will give you exactly what you need.  And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!

COVID-19: Where is God in All of This?

March 16, 2020 /

I think we are all feeling like we are living in a world that is not our own.  My husband, Earl, and I were saying yesterday that we feel like we are in a poorly written movie.  This doesn’t even feel like my life. I honestly never thought I would see anything like this in my lifetime.  As a matter of fact, 2 weeks ago, Earl started telling me that we should perhaps start buying just a little extra when we go grocery shopping.  You know, just a few extra cans of beans and vegetables. I told him that I didn’t think that was necessary and that everything was going to be fine.  Boy, was I wrong. He called this one way before I saw it coming.

During times like this, it’s easy to become consumed with fear. “ What will the outcome of all of this be?  Will anyone in my family catch COVID-19? Will I lose any of my friends or loved ones to this monster? What if I can’t get food for my family?  What if I can’t find the cleaning supplies that I need to keep my family safe? What if…” Our minds could continuously run and run and run. It’s fear of the unknown that can grab hold of you during this time.  While we have NO IDEA what the next hour, day, or week will hold, our Creator knows the ending. Psalm 119:16b says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Think about that.  He knew what every one of your days would be like before you were even conceived. He saw this virus coming when he created the world. I don’t know about you, but that brings me much comfort. He knows exactly what these days ahead will entail.

And that’s why we must trust Him.  We can tell Him our fears. We can tell Him how unsettled we feel.  In Psalm 62:5, 6 & 8, David says, “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”  We can rest in Him. We don’t have to be fearful because our hope is in Him. I love when David tells us to pour out our hearts to him. God desires to have a relationship with us and wants to hear our fears and concerns.  

Some of you may have wondered why God would allow something like this to happen.  To that I say we may never know. I mentioned in my LAST POST that I went through a year of fear 20 years ago.  For the first several years of my life, I was a worrier.  In 1998, I begged God to make me closer to him because I was tired of my lack of trust.  It was the very next year that the fear began to set in and for a solid year I was consumed by fear and torment.  I couldn’t eat. I weighed a mere 106 pounds at the height of that period in my life. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t be alone because my thoughts would not stop.  My husband worked 3 twelve hour days a week and worked the evening shift (7p-7a). He was the supervisor of the shift, so that meant he was really gone from 6 pm – 8 am. He would then come home and sleep all day leaving me alone in a quiet house.  It was the loneliest time of my life. I had a brand new baby whom I was trying to take care of in the midst of this darkness. Earl would walk out the door in the evening and I would fall apart even more so than I had been during the day. I could not stand to be alone with my thoughts during the dark, quiet times of the night.  I’d call my mom or my grandmother and they would come and stay the night with me. There were many nights that I wouldn’t sleep for even a few minutes, so my mom would lay and read Psalms to me for hours on end.  

I slowly began to see that depression, fear, and anxiety were thorns in my flesh.  In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul mentions that he has a thorn in his flesh that he asked the Lord to remove 3 times.  But, this is what God said to him in verses 9-10. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Paul then continued in that same verse, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  I now consider depression and anxiety one of my most prized possessions because it keeps me dependent on Christ. If I don’t stay in His Word and keep myself tethered, chained, tied, and bound to His feet, I am an absolute mess.  My cry of, “Lord make me closer to you” in 1998 was answered in the most difficult, but beautiful way.  

So, to answer the question that I started 2 paragraphs ago with, “Why would God allow something like this to happen?”  I come to the same conclusion. I don’t know. BUT, I do know that while we are weak and scared right now, He is not. He is strong and will continuously give us strength through this time if we allow Him to.  In the book “Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God,” Francis Chan says this, “Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending.  What a stunted, insignificant god that would be!  If my mind were the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop into my little can. God is so much bigger, so far beyond our time-encased, air/food/sleep-dependent lives.”  I don’t know why things are unfolding the way they are, but I know that my complete and total trust must be on my Lord.

No matter what the outcome of all of this is, I will declare until I breathe my last breath that God is good.  And I don’t say that naively or flippantly. I watched my dad waste away to nothing as cancer consumed his earthly body.  I lived through the news of a high school boyfriend committing suicide. I heard my mother’s hyperventilating cries as she called to tell me that she had discovered that my 2nd dad had died in his sleep when she came home from work that evening.  I have watched my mother-in-law take her last breath as glioblastoma took over her body. I was witness to my grandmother’s mind being taken over by Alzheimer’s disease. But, I will continue to say, “GOD IS GOOD.” I don’t say those things for morbidity’s sake or for sympathy.  I say them to give credibility to what I am saying. I’m not a person who has never experienced pain and is blindly saying God is good. I am proof that even through the mess of life, He takes every single circumstance and uses them for His purpose. I have multiple stories of each of these circumstances that I’ve mentioned that prove God is good, even in the pain and uncertainty. 

I have no clue how all of this will turn out.  I’m sure most of us have people in our lives that are more susceptible to COVID-19.  My mom and stepdad, as well as my husband’s dad and stepmom, are in their 70’s. While they are all in good health, all 4 of them have had health scares in the last few years.  My grandfather is 91 years old. We all know that the elderly are severely impacted by this. BUT, I can’t let my mind go there. My mind will rest on God and His promises.  

You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  ~ Psalm 26:3

Don’t Wait to set your mind on Him.  Ask Him to give you an eternal perspective.  Trust that even in the midst of the chaos we are living in, He sees it all and longs for us to cling to Him.  As you are going about your day, whether you are at work or socially distancing yourself and your children as they are out of school, check on your neighbors.  Now is the time to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Watch for elderly people in the grocery store and give up a few of your cans of beans or Clorox wipes for them.  Just as Jesus came to earth to serve, so we are called to do the same. Reach out to others. Love them as you love yourself. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!

Sticky post

Don’t Wait to Parent With Peace

March 10, 2020 /

We are living in an age that can be very scary as a parent.  The world seems very upside-down and we are witnessing our country experience major changes.  We know that there is an enemy who is out to destroy our families, so we must be on guard. Through my years of parenting, I’ve discovered that there is only one way to parent well and that is by being in God’s word every. single. day.  I can’t stress this enough. Notice I didn’t say we must read the latest parenting books or ask Siri or even friends for wisdom. Those things can be useful and very beneficial, but at the end of the day, only God Himself knows what is best for your family.  

Even though I was raised in church, this is not a discipline that I practiced until later in life.  I would read a few times a week and I fully believed in God and everything that He promised, but it took going through a deep depression to realize how much I NEED God, especially as a parent.  A few years ago, my pastor was preaching a sermon and used John 15:1-5 as a reference. John 15:5 really stuck out to me (though I had heard it a million times) and the last part has become my mantra.

“I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; APART FROM ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING.” (my emphasis added)

“Apart from you, Lord, I can do nothing.  Apart from YOU, I can do nothing. Apart from you, I can do absolutely nothing.  Apart from you, I can do nothing.” This is my cry throughout the day, nearly every day.  And guess what? He gives me exactly what I need. We absolutely cannot parent in the times that we live in without spending time with Him DAILY.  It’s hard, I know. You’re tired. You’re running here and there. You’re up late with your newborn. You’re chasing your toddler all day. You’re working your job.  You’re cooking dinner. You’re driving your children to games, practices, and classes. Our lives have become insane! BUT!!! Time with the One who created us, who sustains us, and who gives us peace is a necessity.  

When the alarm goes off in the morning, it’s tough to not continuously hit the snooze button until the last possible moment because you are exhausted and running on fumes.  But, Don’t Wait to take the time. Get up 15 minutes early. If your kids are wired the way mine are, they probably have some sort of radar that lets them know when you are awake, so they will get up, too.  I have to admit, I would often stop reading when this would happen and would move on with my day. If I could go back, though, I never would have done that. I would have found the time. I know that it would have made me a better mom, one with more peace. If your children wake up early, as mine inevitably did, get down on the floor while they play and read next to them.  Think about what that will teach your child. Or take time during their nap while the house is quiet. You could also try turning a movie on to entertain them for a bit (I’m giving you permission – it isn’t going to hurt them). Or how about after they’re in bed? Breast-feeding mommas, read during a few of your feedings throughout the day. Whatever it takes, you cannot afford to skip this! Over time, 15 minutes will turn into 30 and 30 into 45.  It’s like any other healthy relationship. The more time you spend with Him, the more you’ll find any moment possible to do so. The relationship will just get deeper and deeper and sweeter and sweeter.

Here are just a few benefits I’ve found of spending time in God’s Word:

  1.  Spending time in God’s Word will keep our hearts in the right place as we guide our children.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12 

I see two specific things in this verse that stick out to me.  First, God’s word is alive and active. This is why even though I had read John 15:5 over and over, it didn’t stick out to me until a few years ago.  You may feel you know what the Bible says, but reading a verse one day and reading the same verse a few days later can impact you in a different way. Also, His Word judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  As parents, we must constantly allow God to judge our thoughts and attitudes. And how does He do this? He speaks to us as we pray and spend time reading the Bible. We are responsible for guiding our children and if our thoughts and attitudes do not line up with God’s Word, we will do a poor job of this.

  • 2. Spending time in God’s Word will guide you as you are making critical decisions concerning your children.  

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  Psalm 119:105

We need God to guide us, especially in the times we’re living in.  We’re navigating unchartered waters as we parent during this age of technology.  Our children (even our little ones if we aren’t careful) are inundated with information that we did not have access to when we were kids. Porn is easier to access, videos and ads expose them to the evils of the world such as mass shootings, diseases, and other matters that they do not need to worry with (even if we try to shield them, their friends will fill them in), and cyber-bullying is a concern because their peers can hide behind a screen. A very wise older woman at church pointed out to me that our generation cannot ask older generations of parents for advice on social media and technology because they didn’t have to face the decisions that we are having to make.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been praying for wisdom concerning issues such as this and a verse will pop out that points me in the right direction. He alone knows what works best for my kids. If we ask Him, He will guide us through His Word during these uncertain years.  

I heard a sermon on this verse (Psalm 119:105 from above)  years ago by Pastor Jerry Gillis at The Chapel at Crosspoint and it has stuck with me.  He said the lamp that David is referring to is not a modern-day lamp that lights up the entire room.  It’s an oil lamp that illuminates only a small area. So, God shows us a step or two at a time. This is why we must be consistent in our time with Him.  We can trust that He will guide us through each little step that we take when we are in daily communion with Him. We don’t have to look way down the road with fear. That should bring such PEACE!  We don’t have to make decisions regarding our children on our own. He gives us the wisdom that we need.

  1.  3. Spending time in God’s Word enables us to parent peacefully.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

This is a verse I memorized when I was deep in depression 20 years ago.  It has gotten me through some very dark times in life. Let’s take a look at what it says.  First, we don’t have to worry! There are so many things to think about, past, present, and future, as we parent our children.  Instead of fretting over these concerns that are often far beyond our grasp, we should pray. It’s that simple. Pray, tell Him what you need, and thank Him for all He’s done. When we do this, we will experience PEACE that won’t make any sense.  How can we have peace when our children are at risk of contracting the latest virus or when they have to go through lockdown drills at school in case there’s ever an armed madman in their school building?  It’s because of Christ. His peace truly will guard your heart and mind. I am proof of that. I’ll share my rocky journey into motherhood at some point, but just trust me when I say I started out as a very nervous mother that was so consumed by fear that I could barely function for the first year of my firstborn’s life.  But, time in His Word daily has taken all fear away.  

  1.  4. Spending time in God’s Word gives us strength.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1

I would encourage you to read the rest of Psalm 27.  It’s a great reminder of why we need God. He will give you the peace, strength, guidance, and wisdom you need to make it through these scary, uncertain, exciting, and precious years you have with your children.  Don’t Wait to begin this practice. I’ll be honest, I am only 4 and a half years into making this a priority every single day even though I have attended church the entire almost 44 years of my life. I cannot tell you the difference it’s made in every area of my life.  I no longer live in fear, especially as I raise my children. God gives me a peace that I cannot explain and I so desire for you to have the same. Take the time to make God the number one priority in your life. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!

Missy Stovall – Life Influencer #6

March 2, 2020 /

Throughout my almost 21 years of being a mother, God has surrounded me by a pretty amazing group of mommas to walk this journey with me.  Being responsible for teaching, molding, guiding, and disciplining another little human can be a daunting task. Doing it alongside others, though, can lighten the load, especially when we find women who have a bit more experience. Today’s post features a long time friend who became a family member 25 years ago.  She has influenced my life as a mother more than most others simply due to her time and openness. 

Missy and her husband, Duane

I met Missy Stovall at church when I was a small girl.  She was 5 years older than I, so I always looked up to her.  She always took the time to spend with me and often called me her little sister.  I had always wanted a big sister, so I loved her sentiment. She was never too cool to come to my house and would invite me to hers despite our age gap.  In my 8-9-year-old mind, she was the coolest teenager EVER. When Missy got married in 1989, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was absolutely THRILLED to be a part and was ecstatic that she had married the son of my mom’s best friend.  I knew this meant that Missy would always be in my life in some way. Fast forward to 1993 when I began dating my husband, Earl. Earl is cousins with Missy’s husband, Duane, so our marriage in ‘94 further sealed the deal that Missy was officially family.  Our husbands are super close and refer to each other as brothers instead of cousins, so she is my sister-in-law and “Aunt Missy” to my children.

Missy’s wedding, 1989

Missy started having children 8 years before I did and had her last child the year before Solomon was born, so she has always been a season ahead of me in life.  I am the type of person that is observant of other people. How do they parent? How is that working out for them? And so on. Missy is a mother that I look up to more than most others.  I’ve watched her mother her children with love and grace. She is grounded in her faith and bases her parenting on God’s Word. She prays for her children, allows them to make mistakes, is always patient and kind, and uses wisdom in her decisions.  

Missy and her family when she was in the stage of life I am currently in (except I have one more child)

500 miles separate us, but when I have the chance to visit with Missy, I love to just listen and take in all of her wisdom.  She openly shares her struggles of being a mom as well as her delights. Her stories of her children and the way she handles each situation that comes along always resonate with me.  I frequently receive texts from her with encouraging verses, memes, or messages that simply say, “I am praying for you today.” She now has 3 grown children so, she uses her hours that were once spent taking care of little ones to cheer on moms like me that are in the throws of the preadolescent and teenage years.

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

As my kids enter into their adult years, I am constantly looking to Missy for wisdom.  My kids are currently 10, 15, 17, and 20 and by the end of this year, I will have 2 adult children (I still don’t know how I’m old enough for that to happen).  As our babies become adults, the dynamics of the relationship begin to change. They no longer need momma as much as they are becoming independent and can handle things on their own.  Sometimes that’s hard for a momma heart to take. You KNOW it’s coming, you KNOW it’s healthy, but it’s not easy. I recently sent Missy a text to let her know that our oldest is getting an apartment and will be moving out this summer.  Her very first response was “How are YOU?” She completely got it. She didn’t ask where he was going or if he’d have a roommate. She immediately checked on me. She consistently uses her experiences to empathetically reach out without any judgment or unsolicited advice.  

The sweet family that Missy and I married into back in 2009 at our husbands’ grandfather’s funeral
Taken in 2012 when my mother-in-law passed away
Family Vacation 2019

Miss, thank you for using your experiences to be a motivator and supporter.  Thank you also for modeling how to love my children in a Christ-like way and for relating to challenges that I face.  I looked up to you as a small girl and I still do. Your insight is priceless and I will forever be thankful for your influence on my life.  I love you!

A recent picture of Missy with her family

And now to my readers, I often wonder if anyone else is taking this journey with me (click HERE to find out more).  Have you thanked any of your life influencers? Have you written a card or sent flowers to a mom who is a season ahead of you and shares her knowledge with you?  Have you taken that person out to lunch that impacted your life as a child or teenager? If you haven’t DON’T WAIT! One day it will be too late. Remember to follow us on FACEBOOK and let me know about your interactions with your life influencers.  Whatever you do, Don’t Wait!

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