Don’t Wait to Parent With Peace

We are living in an age that can be very scary as a parent.  The world seems very upside-down and we are witnessing our country experience major changes.  We know that there is an enemy who is out to destroy our families, so we must be on guard. Through my years of parenting, I’ve discovered that there is only one way to parent well and that is by being in God’s word every. single. day.  I can’t stress this enough. Notice I didn’t say we must read the latest parenting books or ask Siri or even friends for wisdom. Those things can be useful and very beneficial, but at the end of the day, only God Himself knows what is best for your family.  

Even though I was raised in church, this is not a discipline that I practiced until later in life.  I would read a few times a week and I fully believed in God and everything that He promised, but it took going through a deep depression to realize how much I NEED God, especially as a parent.  A few years ago, my pastor was preaching a sermon and used John 15:1-5 as a reference. John 15:5 really stuck out to me (though I had heard it a million times) and the last part has become my mantra.

“I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; APART FROM ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING.” (my emphasis added)

“Apart from you, Lord, I can do nothing.  Apart from YOU, I can do nothing. Apart from you, I can do absolutely nothing.  Apart from you, I can do nothing.” This is my cry throughout the day, nearly every day.  And guess what? He gives me exactly what I need. We absolutely cannot parent in the times that we live in without spending time with Him DAILY.  It’s hard, I know. You’re tired. You’re running here and there. You’re up late with your newborn. You’re chasing your toddler all day. You’re working your job.  You’re cooking dinner. You’re driving your children to games, practices, and classes. Our lives have become insane! BUT!!! Time with the One who created us, who sustains us, and who gives us peace is a necessity.  

When the alarm goes off in the morning, it’s tough to not continuously hit the snooze button until the last possible moment because you are exhausted and running on fumes.  But, Don’t Wait to take the time. Get up 15 minutes early. If your kids are wired the way mine are, they probably have some sort of radar that lets them know when you are awake, so they will get up, too.  I have to admit, I would often stop reading when this would happen and would move on with my day. If I could go back, though, I never would have done that. I would have found the time. I know that it would have made me a better mom, one with more peace. If your children wake up early, as mine inevitably did, get down on the floor while they play and read next to them.  Think about what that will teach your child. Or take time during their nap while the house is quiet. You could also try turning a movie on to entertain them for a bit (I’m giving you permission – it isn’t going to hurt them). Or how about after they’re in bed? Breast-feeding mommas, read during a few of your feedings throughout the day. Whatever it takes, you cannot afford to skip this! Over time, 15 minutes will turn into 30 and 30 into 45.  It’s like any other healthy relationship. The more time you spend with Him, the more you’ll find any moment possible to do so. The relationship will just get deeper and deeper and sweeter and sweeter.

Here are just a few benefits I’ve found of spending time in God’s Word:

1.  Spending time in God’s Word will keep our hearts in the right place as we guide our children.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12 

I see two specific things in this verse that stick out to me.  First, God’s word is alive and active. This is why even though I had read John 15:5 over and over, it didn’t stick out to me until a few years ago.  You may feel you know what the Bible says, but reading a verse one day and reading the same verse a few days later can impact you in a different way. Also, His Word judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  As parents, we must constantly allow God to judge our thoughts and attitudes. And how does He do this? He speaks to us as we pray and spend time reading the Bible. We are responsible for guiding our children and if our thoughts and attitudes do not line up with God’s Word, we will do a poor job of this.

• 2. Spending time in God’s Word will guide you as you are making critical decisions concerning your children.  

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  Psalm 119:105

We need God to guide us, especially in the times we’re living in.  We’re navigating unchartered waters as we parent during this age of technology.  Our children (even our little ones if we aren’t careful) are inundated with information that we did not have access to when we were kids. Porn is easier to access, videos and ads expose them to the evils of the world such as mass shootings, diseases, and other matters that they do not need to worry with (even if we try to shield them, their friends will fill them in), and cyber-bullying is a concern because their peers can hide behind a screen. A very wise older woman at church pointed out to me that our generation cannot ask older generations of parents for advice on social media and technology because they didn’t have to face the decisions that we are having to make.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been praying for wisdom concerning issues such as this and a verse will pop out that points me in the right direction. He alone knows what works best for my kids. If we ask Him, He will guide us through His Word during these uncertain years.  

I heard a sermon on this verse (Psalm 119:105 from above)  years ago by Pastor Jerry Gillis at The Chapel at Crosspoint and it has stuck with me.  He said the lamp that David is referring to is not a modern-day lamp that lights up the entire room.  It’s an oil lamp that illuminates only a small area. So, God shows us a step or two at a time. This is why we must be consistent in our time with Him.  We can trust that He will guide us through each little step that we take when we are in daily communion with Him. We don’t have to look way down the road with fear. That should bring such PEACE!  We don’t have to make decisions regarding our children on our own. He gives us the wisdom that we need.

1.  3. Spending time in God’s Word enables us to parent peacefully.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

This is a verse I memorized when I was deep in depression 20 years ago.  It has gotten me through some very dark times in life. Let’s take a look at what it says.  First, we don’t have to worry! There are so many things to think about, past, present, and future, as we parent our children.  Instead of fretting over these concerns that are often far beyond our grasp, we should pray. It’s that simple. Pray, tell Him what you need, and thank Him for all He’s done. When we do this, we will experience PEACE that won’t make any sense.  How can we have peace when our children are at risk of contracting the latest virus or when they have to go through lockdown drills at school in case there’s ever an armed madman in their school building?  It’s because of Christ. His peace truly will guard your heart and mind. I am proof of that. I’ll share my rocky journey into motherhood at some point, but just trust me when I say I started out as a very nervous mother that was so consumed by fear that I could barely function for the first year of my firstborn’s life.  But, time in His Word daily has taken all fear away.  

1.  4. Spending time in God’s Word gives us strength.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1

I would encourage you to read the rest of Psalm 27.  It’s a great reminder of why we need God. He will give you the peace, strength, guidance, and wisdom you need to make it through these scary, uncertain, exciting, and precious years you have with your children.  Don’t Wait to begin this practice. I’ll be honest, I am only 4 and a half years into making this a priority every single day even though I have attended church the entire almost 44 years of my life. I cannot tell you the difference it’s made in every area of my life.  I no longer live in fear, especially as I raise my children. God gives me a peace that I cannot explain and I so desire for you to have the same. Take the time to make God the number one priority in your life. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!