Throughout my almost 21 years of being a mother, God has surrounded me by a pretty amazing group of mommas to walk this journey with me. Being responsible for teaching, molding, guiding, and disciplining another little human can be a daunting task. Doing it alongside others, though, can lighten the load, especially when we find women who have a bit more experience. Today’s post features a long time friend who became a family member 25 years ago. She has influenced my life as a mother more than most others simply due to her time and openness.
I met Missy Stovall at church when I was a small girl. She was 5 years older than I, so I always looked up to her. She always took the time to spend with me and often called me her little sister. I had always wanted a big sister, so I loved her sentiment. She was never too cool to come to my house and would invite me to hers despite our age gap. In my 8-9-year-old mind, she was the coolest teenager EVER. When Missy got married in 1989, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was absolutely THRILLED to be a part and was ecstatic that she had married the son of my mom’s best friend. I knew this meant that Missy would always be in my life in some way. Fast forward to 1993 when I began dating my husband, Earl. Earl is cousins with Missy’s husband, Duane, so our marriage in ‘94 further sealed the deal that Missy was officially family. Our husbands are super close and refer to each other as brothers instead of cousins, so she is my sister-in-law and “Aunt Missy” to my children.
Missy started having children 8 years before I did and had her last child the year before Solomon was born, so she has always been a season ahead of me in life. I am the type of person that is observant of other people. How do they parent? How is that working out for them? And so on. Missy is a mother that I look up to more than most others. I’ve watched her mother her children with love and grace. She is grounded in her faith and bases her parenting on God’s Word. She prays for her children, allows them to make mistakes, is always patient and kind, and uses wisdom in her decisions.
500 miles separate us, but when I have the chance to visit with Missy, I love to just listen and take in all of her wisdom. She openly shares her struggles of being a mom as well as her delights. Her stories of her children and the way she handles each situation that comes along always resonate with me. I frequently receive texts from her with encouraging verses, memes, or messages that simply say, “I am praying for you today.” She now has 3 grown children so, she uses her hours that were once spent taking care of little ones to cheer on moms like me that are in the throws of the preadolescent and teenage years.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26
As my kids enter into their adult years, I am constantly looking to Missy for wisdom. My kids are currently 10, 15, 17, and 20 and by the end of this year, I will have 2 adult children (I still don’t know how I’m old enough for that to happen). As our babies become adults, the dynamics of the relationship begin to change. They no longer need momma as much as they are becoming independent and can handle things on their own. Sometimes that’s hard for a momma heart to take. You KNOW it’s coming, you KNOW it’s healthy, but it’s not easy. I recently sent Missy a text to let her know that our oldest is getting an apartment and will be moving out this summer. Her very first response was “How are YOU?” She completely got it. She didn’t ask where he was going or if he’d have a roommate. She immediately checked on me. She consistently uses her experiences to empathetically reach out without any judgment or unsolicited advice.
Miss, thank you for using your experiences to be a motivator and supporter. Thank you also for modeling how to love my children in a Christ-like way and for relating to challenges that I face. I looked up to you as a small girl and I still do. Your insight is priceless and I will forever be thankful for your influence on my life. I love you!
And now to my readers, I often wonder if anyone else is taking this journey with me (click HERE to find out more). Have you thanked any of your life influencers? Have you written a card or sent flowers to a mom who is a season ahead of you and shares her knowledge with you? Have you taken that person out to lunch that impacted your life as a child or teenager? If you haven’t DON’T WAIT! One day it will be too late. Remember to follow us on FACEBOOK and let me know about your interactions with your life influencers. Whatever you do, Don’t Wait!
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