Month: June 2020

Epidemic – a disease that affects a large number of people within a community, population, or region.

Within just a few days of George Floyd’s death, I felt God leading me to write a post concerning the epidemic of racism that we have within our society.  Yes, I feel it’s an epidemic, but it’s not been a sudden outbreak like some diseases.  This malady has affected a large number of people throughout history.  As with any epidemic, you may be a carrier and not even realize it.  You may be asymptomatic and unaware that you have biases and prejudices which will further spread the disease. You may be unknowingly perpetuating the spread. Or perhaps you know you have this disease, but don’t care who you infect in the process. You choose not to attempt to stop the spread simply out of denial or selfishness. But, if the epidemic of racism is going to be eradicated, it has to be a group effort. We all have to do our part in each of our small corners of the world in order to promote healing.

I admit I’m feeling pretty overwhelmed right now.  Social media is absolutely bombarding us with so much information that it’s hard to process it all. Up until this point, I’ve been silent because I’ve been researching, reading, listening, and asking questions, yet I still have no idea where this post is going to take us.  I’m just praying that these will be GOD’S words, not mine.  I fully admit I’m nervous because, as a white woman, I have no clue how to tackle this subject.  I don’t know that I’ll be able to do it justice, but I promised God when I started this blog that I would follow His leading no matter how scary it may seem.  

I don’t know what it is like to be an African American nor will I ever be able to know.  I’ve never been scared that just because of the color of my skin I may be accused of a crime I did not commit.  I’ve never felt frightened at the sight of a cop.  I think every mother worries about their children through the years, but I’ve never worried about mine because of their race.  I don’t understand that fear, nor will I ever be able to.  There is a quote from one of my all-time favorite books “To Kill a Mockingbird” that I feel speaks perfectly to this. As Atticus Finch, one of the main characters, is talking to his daughter about the importance of not judging others, he says, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.” I’ll never be able to climb inside of my African American friends’ skin, so I’ll never know what they face every day. But, this is what I do know – the African American community has expressed that they often feel unsupported and misunderstood and the white community often wants to respond, but we don’t know how (or at least I often don’t).  I want to respond to my black friends in a way that brings peace and comfort, not more pain.  So, I’ve been asking around and I hope to convey some of that information through this post.   

Racism obviously still exists in our society.  This was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt on February 23 by the murder of Ahmaud Arbery.  Arbery, a 25-year-old African American man of Brunswick, Georgia, was out for a jog when a white father and son duo, Greg and Travis McMichael, assumed he was a burglary suspect.  The McMichaels felt they needed to apprehend him, so they began to chase Arbery down through the neighborhood in their truck.  It was reported that as he was being chased, there were times that Arbery had to run in the ditch to avoid the truck that was pursuing him.  He was even hit at one point but continued to run, no doubt due to fear.  Arbery was eventually cornered and when he refused to lay down and surrender to this “citizen’s arrest” he was shot 3 times and died.  According to THIS article by NBC News, evidence has been released in the last few days that Travis McMichael used the “n-word” multiple times in social media posts prior to the murder of Arbery.  It has also been stated that after the shooting, he was heard saying, “F***ing n-word” as Arbery lay on the ground.  The murder was clearly motivated by racism.  It’s hard to fathom that there are people with such malice.

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.’”   ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

In the last 2 and a half weeks since the death of George Floyd, I’ve listened to radio shows, watched Zoom calls, read articles and blogs, listened to pastors, watched videos, and talked to friends, both black and white, about this issue.  I’ve heard many different views and sides of this that I’ve thought through in preparation for this post.  I’ve talked to African Americans who feel very angry about the treatment of their family and friends through the years.  They are outraged that racism still exists.  I’ve talked to black people who see things through a different lens and are very frustrated with the current reaction of their black friends and family. They believe incredible progress has been made over the last 60 years and they feel racism is rare.  I’ve heard from white people who feel their eyes have been opened and they are very repentant that they have not realized how prevalent white privilege is. They are sorry that they have not shown more compassion and empathy to African American people during their lifetimes, so they’re looking for ways to change.  I’ve also been made aware of white people who are frustrated because they feel they are being lumped in with racists when they are far from that themselves.  I pray that through this post, God will touch the heart of each person, no matter where they stand on this issue.

I accidentally stumbled on the videos of both Arbery and Floyd.  If I had known what I was about to watch, I may not have clicked the thumbnails simply because watching a murder is obviously disturbing.  But I’m glad I did.  Actually watching the events take place had such an impact on me.  I hate that it took physically seeing something with my own eyes for me to begin to really see that racism is still an issue.  I mean, I had seen it before numerous times.  I was raised in a small town in VA that is close to 50% white with an African American population of almost 40%.  Many of my friends, teachers, and classmates were black.  I saw the racial tension frequently at school as well as out in the community.  I heard white people who would use the n-word and throw out racial slurs like it was no big deal.  Perhaps they were taught that simply because of the color of their skin they were superior. Maybe their parents didn’t teach them that we are all equal, no matter our race.  I also heard black students who would throw their pain back onto white students.  Maybe at some point that had experienced run-ins with racist white people, or possibly they were taught that all white people were racist. I think I became immune to it from both sides because I thought that’s just the way things always were.  Now, I see that there really needs to be a dialogue of all races instead of throwing painful words and actions back and forth.  Lashing out will get us nowhere.  

I can’t even put into words how I felt when I first saw the video that 17-year-old Darnella Frazier captured of George Floyd’s death.  The aloofness of the cops, the blank stare on the officer’s face, the number of people standing around trying to help…it was all extremely repulsive.  How someone can sit quietly with their hands in their pockets and a nonchalant look on their face while kneeling on someone’s neck until they take their last breath is way beyond me.  It’s evil and sick.  

I’ve read Facebook post after Facebook post written by friends who have black or inter-racial husbands and children that have described the fear they feel when their loved ones leave the house.  I’ve talked to and read about countless African American men and every single one has a very similar story.  They’ve been stopped by cops because they fit the description of a criminal that the officers were in search of.  Majority of the time the only feature they matched was the fact that they were black.  One friend was sitting in his car in a predominantly white neighborhood waiting for a friend to come out.  A neighbor saw him sitting there and called the cops because he looked “suspicious.”  I firmly believe if this guy had been white, no one would have given him a second thought.  And yet another friend mentioned the humiliation he suffered while in high school when a fellow student brought a noose to class, put it around his neck, and joked about hanging him because he was black.  To make matters worse, the teacher and students simply laughed.  

And then there’s Kyle, a 19 year old African American Security Forces Airman from my church.  When I asked him what it’s like to be a black man living in America, his answer was heart-wrenching.  “Being a black man in America is hard.  Since a child I’ve always felt out of place.  It hurts not feeling loved and cared for because the color of my skin.  I’ve been wrongfully detained 3 times in my life. The first incident was back in 2012.  I was walking to the corner store to get some snacks for my family and I when two white police officers snatched me and grabbed my ID without letting me know why.  I was 12.”  Let’s stop there for a moment.  He was only 12 when this first incident happened.  TWELVE.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Kyle went on to say, “I was scared for my life.  Soon after they realized I wasn’t the person they were looking for they let me go and told me, ‘You matched our description of a suspect we’re looking for.’  I was wearing a red hoodie that day.  It was raining.  Soon after I came home and told my mom.  Shaking with fear.  Crying uncontrollably.  I’ll never forget that day.  Still to this day I’m scared for my life that someday it might end simply because I am an African American.”  

As I was researching this topic, the biggest thing I kept hearing from African Americans is that the best way to support them when a death such as George Floyd or Ahmaud Arbery’s occurs is to acknowledge their pain.  My friend Andrea said to me, “Grieve with us just as you celebrate with us.  We recognize it is uncomfortable and that’s ok.  Just don’t let that discomfort push you into silence.”  Wow.  This really hit home with me.  It reminded me of when my dad died when I was 7 years old, I went back to school after his funeral and one classmate acknowledged his death.  All she said was, “Do you miss your daddy?”  I will never forget her words as long as I live simply because she recognized my pain.  Then, when my stepdad died in 2009, I’ll always remember the first Sunday I went back to church.  My world was still so dark and gray and I could barely think straight.  Most people didn’t know what to say, so they simply said nothing.  That was so hurtful.  I wanted to talk about him.  I wanted to share my loss with my church family, but I didn’t want to burden anyone.  I know it wasn’t intentional.  They didn’t want to hurt me, but they let their discomfort push them into silence.  So, for our black brothers and sisters, one way to show Christ’s love is to acknowledge their pain.  Our silence causes more of a divide.

So now, for all of us, no matter our race, we should pray for how we can help in our communities.  Are there laws that need to be changed?  For example, Georgia does not have a hate crime law.  This needs to change and is vital for the trial of the McMichael’s in the murder of Ahmaud Arbery.    Are there programs in your area that can be implemented?  Ministries that you can become involved with?  Ways that we can unite the black and white communities?  Ask your friends questions.  “How can I support you the best?  How do you feel?”  There is something that touches deep when we’re asked, “How can I help you?”  And when you ask, really listen.  Don’t just give the pat answer, “I’m praying for you.”  Brainstorm with both your black and white friends and families ways that you can create change.  Ask God to show you any racist ways that you have within yourself.  The definition of racism is “prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against someone of a different race based on the belief that one’s own race is superior.”  If you find yourself feeling that your race is superior to another, it’s time to really evaluate yourself.  I think we all need to do this.  Ask the Lord to show you if you have any malice or bitterness towards people outside of your race. Whatever you do, DON’T WAIT to ask Him to heal that within you and bring unity to all people.

It seems that the solution to this needs to begin at home. White parents, be sure your children know about the history of black Americans.   We can never forget that just 60 years ago, they were unable to attend the same school as white children.  They couldn’t drink out of the same water fountains as white people, interracial marriage was against the law, they could not visit white libraries, and they had to sit in the back of a bus and give up their seat if a white person couldn’t find a seat. Teach your children about the bravery of Rosa Parks who stood up for the rights of all black Americans and refused to give up her seat.  Teach them about Ruby Bridges, Martin Luther King, Jr, slavery, the Underground railroad, racism, and the Civil rights movement.  Teach them that we are all equal and the color of their skin makes no difference.

White pastors, these conversations must take place within the walls of our churches.  While listening to a radio show on my local Christian radio station recently entitled, “Neil Boron Live:  The Church’s Response to the Death of George Floyd,” Pastor Elijah Shamenda touched on this a bit.  He said imagine if the cop who killed Floyd attended a church where the pastor spoke the truth about racism. Things may have turned out very differently that day.  We know that God’s Word changes hearts, so let’s speak this to our church members.

African American parents and pastors, you can be assured that not all white people are racists.  There are many of us who look at you no differently than anyone else.  Every single one of you has experienced racism in some form or fashion, but we aren’t all like that.  Let your children know that there are white children who just want to be friends, no matter what color your child’s skin may be.  Tell the members of your congregation that many of us would love to worship beside you.  A good portion of us already do life with African American friends and we love them just the same.     

And now, here are some reminders from God’s Word that we should all use, no matter our race.

1.  We must teach our children that healing can only come from God.  Psalm 147:3 tells us, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” The best way to teach this is to model it within your own life.  Let your children see you down on your knees asking God for healing and wisdom.  Let them watch as your heart begins to heal, whether you’re a white person who has taught your child racism (no matter how subtle it is) or if you’re an African American who has been hurt by the white community or were taught that all white people are racist.  Only God can fully heal hearts.

2. Teach your child that we were all created in God’s image.  This means that we are image-bearers and should reflect who He is.  He is not full of hate, rage, and anger.  He is full of love, compassion, grace, and mercy.  Psalm 145:8-9 – “The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he made.”  We should all strive to reflect these attributes of God.

3. God is fair and just.  He doesn’t favor one of us over the other.  He tells us in Ephesians 3:28, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”  We can add to this that there is neither black nor white.  God sees us all the same.

This post was an extremely difficult one to write.  I pray that I’ve said things as God has directed and that you know that my desire is to share God’s peace and unity, not more division.  I pray that if racism has ever been detected from me, that you will feel free to share that with me.  I pray that every African American that I cross paths with will only feel love, support, and acceptance.  Let’s work to end this epidemic. Please DON’T WAIT to reach out to others outside of your race.  It’s what Christ asks us to do.  I’d like to share one last verse as I close this out.

“He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” ~ Revelation 21:4

I don’t know about you, but I’m looking forward to this day.  Just think.  He will wipe every tear from our eyes.  We will no longer feel mental or physical pain and anguish.  We won’t feel fear.  We will all live together in unity and worship HIM with no thought of our color.  We will bow down before Him in a sea of beautiful diverse skin tones as the cares of this world vanish.  The old order of things will be gone and no one will feel superior or inferior, only accepted and full of thanksgiving.  If you don’t have this assurance, please reach out to me on Facebook and I can walk you through it.  It’ll be the best decision you’ve ever made.  Jesus can transform your mind and bring healing to your heart and allow you to show grace and mercy instead of hate and pain.  All you have to do is ask Him to help.  And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!