A Father’s Love

For the first 7 years of my life, I was blessed with an exemplary father. He loved Jesus with all of his heart and it showed in all that he did. Some of my earliest memories of him are of all the hours that he would spend studying God’s Word. He would sit with his Bible open, pen in hand, as he would jot down note after note about what he was reading that day.

As he put the time into learning more and more about Jesus, Christ’s love poured out of my father. He was an Education Specialist at a medium-security Federal prison in our town and he openly shared the hope that he had found with the inmates that he came into contact with. Not only did he talk about his faith to the men he had in the classes that he taught, but he also had a prison ministry where he led a Bible study one night a week for the prisoners right there at the facility. And then every Sunday morning he would pick up a car full of inmates and would take them to church with us. My father reached out to “the least of these” just as Jesus told the righteous to do in Matthew 25:35-38.

³⁵ For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, ³⁶ I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ ³⁷ “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? ³⁹ When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ ⁴⁰ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

My dad was also great at modeling Christ’s love for our family. I never saw him angry or impatient. On the contrary, he was always loving, gentle, and kind. When he came in from work every day, we would eat dinner, and then the rest of his evening was devoted to us. We would take family bike rides or perhaps play a game such as UNO. If work had to be done, we’d do it together. We could often be found doing yard work together (I was a pro at pulling weeds by the age of 5) and if dad was in the garage building something, I was right beside him with my own tool belt, hammer, nails, and piece of wood.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. ~Ephesians 6:4

During the times that my brother and I needed correction, dad would not scream or talk down to us. Instead, he would get down to our level on one knee and would talk softly to us. We never felt shamed or unloved through his discipline. You see, my dad loved God first with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength and as a result, he was able to love us the way Jesus did. He demonstrated well for me the way in which God my Father loves me.

When I was 3 years old and Dad was just 33, he was diagnosed with cancer. A mole that had been removed on his hand showed back up 6 months later, shortly followed by a tumor on his elbow. Throughout Dad’s entire illness, his study time with Jesus continued. The fruit of that was supernatural strength to face gut-wrenching days. My mom has often told me the story of the day they received the news that the cancer had spread to his liver. There was nothing more that the doctor could do, so as you can imagine, the devastating news could have destroyed them both. They had an hour and a half drive back home after receiving the news, and she said the entire drive was filled with laughter. They weren’t distraught, fearful, or hopeless, but were actually the opposite. The only explanation is that God’s joy and peace were at work that day.

Near the end of my dad’s life, his pain began to increase. His doctor called in a prescription for Dilaudid, which is a high powered opioid pain medication. After having to drive to 3 pharmacies before finding one that had it in stock, my mom gave my dad his first dose. The medication knocked him out for several hours and when he woke up, he did not like the way he felt. This is where God’s unbelievable strength once again came into play. He told my mom to get rid of the medication because he never wanted to take another pill. He told her that he did not want to live his remaining days groggy and sleeping, so he would just do without. His desire was to spend as many days as possible with my mom, brother, and me with a clear mind no matter how bad the pain got.

My dad NEVER took another pain pill after that day. I didn’t go into our den very many times where his hospital bed was during those last days, but I remember at one point seeing how far the cancer had spread. He had blue knots all under the surface of his skin under his arms as well as protruding tumors all over his head and back. He was completely eaten up with cancer. I know this is detailed and a bit hard to read, but I simply want to paint a clear picture of the way my father was able to love us until the very end. I don’t think there is any denying that the only way Dad was able to do that was because of God’s strength. I don’t know that it would have been humanly possible without it.

Let me make it clear that I in no way think that pain meds are bad. They are very necessary and needed typically. I am simply sharing the way God taught me about love. I have never in my life wondered if my dad loved us. From my very first memory of him until my very last, I knew his love for us ran DEEP. He demonstrated this by putting others (us) above himself. My dad sacrificed his comfort in order to spend every possible moment with us until Jesus took him home.

A few months ago, I was reading in the book of Mark and came across a verse about another Man who did something very similar.

“And they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it.” ~ Mark 15:23

I had read this passage about the final day of Jesus’ life numerous times before, but I had never noticed this.  As I began to research “wine mixed with myrrh,” I learned that when a person was crucified, they were offered this concoction which had a numbing effect.  It was used to lessen the pain of the process, making it a bit more bearable.  But, notice what this verse says.  “…he did not take it.”   My Savior did not take it.  He did that for me.  And He did it for YOU.  He loved us so much that He wanted to experience the full brunt of our sins as He hung on the cross.  He didn’t want the pain lessened.  He wanted to feel every whip, every thorn, every sword, and every nail as He was beaten and bruised and sacrificed His life for us. 

These are the things that a father’s love will do. Our Heavenly Father bore the full weight of God’s wrath in exchange for our salvation with nothing to dull the pain. And as an earthly father spends time with Jesus, he will become more and more like Him. As a result, He will live his life in a way that will teach his children exactly who God is. They will recognize that God is a God of love and compassion, not a God filled with wrath and fury. He will not provoke his child to anger but will discipline in love. He will demonstrate for his children how to reach out to the “least of these” just as Jesus instructs us to do. And he will make sacrifices that are beyond human comprehension all because of the strength that only God can give. Even his death will glorify God. Please notice that I said that it was God’s strength that enabled my father to live the life that he lived. It was not of his own strength.

I pray that you will not wait to spend time daily with our Lord.  Living a life that glorifies Him is impossible without studying His life.  Take the time to examine and understand every word that He has given us.  Ask Him to help you to love Him first so that you can love others the way that He does.  You can’t do it without Him.  Take the time now and ask Him for his help. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!