We are a vanishing mist.

Month: November 2020

What Didn’t Kill Her Made Her Stronger

Thanksgiving 2020.  What a year this has been.  I can’t think of one person that hasn’t had somewhat of a rough year.  And not just because of Covid.  It seems like there has been so much loss, families that have split, adult children who have turned their backs on their parents, friends who don’t see eye to eye politically causing a major rift in their relationship, friends and family suffering from cancer…the list goes on and on.  But, I think we can all still think of many, many things that we are thankful for.  For me, it’s the fact that one of my absolute greatest blessings in life is with us today to celebrate her birthday.

The day before her accident

On July 4th of this year, my oldest daughter had a pretty serious accident while we were in Tennessee visiting my mom and stepdad.  During a family walk following our Independence Day cookout, she grabbed a scooter on a whim from her younger brother and decided to take a ride down a mountain road in my parent’s neighborhood.  Now, this was no special scooter.  It wasn’t motorized and didn’t have a brake.  Instead, it was a simple 4-wheeled kick scooter with a deck to stand on and a T-shaped bar, similar to a “Razor” scooter.  Let me add, also, that Daelyn is not usually a risk taker.  She is a competitive dancer, so she is typically super cautious.  She often sits out on any activity that could cause an injury because she doesn’t want to miss any part of the dance season.  But, on this particular day, she threw caution to the wind and decided to have a little fun.  Vacation has a way of making us carefree.

As she began descending down the hill, having the time of her life, she gained speed much faster than any of us would have thought.  She was soon traveling much too quickly toward a main road where the speed limit was 55 mph.  Unfortunately, her only option was to jump off of the scooter in order to avoid traveling out into fast-moving traffic.  My husband estimates she was going about 25-30 miles per hour when she jumped, so her landing was anything but graceful.  Her face took the brunt of the fall on a curb, leaving her with 3 broken teeth, major road rash on her face, and lots of other scrapes and bruises on her arms and legs.  Her daddy saw the accident up close because he had begun running to help her.  For days after the accident, he couldn’t get the image out of his head because he said when she hit, he thought there was absolutely no way she’d be able to stand back up. But, miraculously, she immediately did.  And my girl was even laughing.

God sent an angel in the form of a man named Jody to assist us.  He lived in a trailer across the street from where Daelyn’s accident occurred and came running out as soon as he heard her hit.  It still makes me cringe when I think that he HEARD the force of the hit from inside of his trailer.  Jody was a former EMT and knew exactly what steps needed to take place in order to get Dae the help that she needed.  He asked her several questions to make sure she was still alert and aware of her surroundings, which she passed with flying colors.  He then gave us directions to the nearest hospital and sent us on our way.  Thank you, Lord, for Jody.

On our 30 minute drive to the ER, I asked Daelyn where she was emotionally with things.  She looked me square in the eye and said, “Mom, God allowed this to happen for some reason.  I’m not sure what that reason is, but I am ok with it.  He must be trying to teach me something.”  All I could do at that point was stand in awe of God and the peace that only HE can offer.  Thank you, Lord, for your peace.

Drive to the hospital

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. ~ Isaiah 26:3

The miracles continued throughout the evening.  In the ER, Daelyn was seen by a Nurse Practitioner named Michelle who immediately ordered a CT scan of her head, neck, and face because she said there were likely multiple fractures that would be found.  An x-ray was also ordered of her wrist because when she hit, Daelyn tried to catch herself with her hand, so it was causing her quite a bit of pain.  Michelle began talking about the likelihood of having to send us to the University of Tennessee Medical Center because her injuries appeared extensive.  Through this entire process, the Lord was with us.  I can’t explain the peace that was felt in the hospital room.  Daelyn remained steady, as usual, and was even cracking jokes.  “Well, I knew I could either get hit by a car and die; or I could jump, so I picked the best option,” she said to every nurse and doctor that walked in.  Each person that entered was amazed at the peacefulness that Daelyn was feeling.  Thank you, Lord, for your presence.

Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence? ~ Psalm 139:7

Getting her “facial”

When the CT was read, Michelle literally came BUSTING through the door and said, “I can’t explain it, but there are absolutely no fractures anywhere.  I am in absolute shock.  You are a very lucky girl.”  All I could say was, “I pray for God’s protection over my children every single morning, so I believe He is the one who protected Daelyn today.”  Michelle responded with, “I absolutely believe that is true.”  Thank you, Lord, for your protection.

Waiting for CT scan

I knew my daughter was tough, but I didn’t realize just how tough.  While her wounds were being cleaned in the ER with a soft brush and sponge just hours after injuring herself, she never flinched.  She actually joked at one point and told me that the nurse was giving her a facial.  The following days held dentist appointments, oral surgery where she had a tooth pulled, antibiotics, lots of pain, and consistent wound care.  It would have been totally acceptable for her to have a pity party for herself.  Think about it.  You’re age 17, on vacation with your family, and while out having fun you break 3 teeth and scrape up your face and body.  Appearances are important to 17-year-old girls.  But, besides one quick breakdown after returning from the ER that night, she muscled through everything that came her way.  Thank you, Lord, for your strength.  

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. ~ Psalm 46:1

In the days and months that have followed, Daelyn’s faith has never wavered.  She has held fast to the fact that God is good, even when trials arise.  As we were reminiscing this morning, she told me that the minute she stood up after jumping off the scooter, she knew that God was with her because she felt His peace instead of panic.  She also mentioned that she has learned to be confident in who God created her to be and to love herself even though she is missing a tooth (when she isn’t wearing her flipper) and has constant redness on her face (mainly after strenuous exercise such as dancing).  When asked if she would want to go back and do things over again, she says she absolutely wouldn’t change a thing.  She has told me that scars are a sign that you’ve lived and had fun.  Thank you, Lord, for this healthy perspective.

Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. ~ Colossians 3:2

Today, Thanksgiving Day 2020, the 26th day of November, is my girl’s EIGHTEENTH birthday.  I can’t even begin to explain to you how incredibly thankful I am that she is here with us to celebrate.  Things could have turned out so differently.  Her injuries could have been much worse.  She could have sunk into a state of depression.  Or she could have simply not been here with us this year.  But, that’s not the case.  Because of God’s protection, peace, comfort, and strength, Daelyn is healed and whole.  Her teeth have been fixed, her wounds have healed, and she is left with just a few minor scars, which serve as reminders of just how good our God is.  Thank you, Lord, for your healing power.

How about you? What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? During years like this, you may find it difficult to see anything good around you. But, it’s there, I promise. Thank Him for family, friends, life, salvation, your warm house, running water. Take the time to look and reflect on all that God has blessed you with. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!

Plumb the Depths

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.  ~ Roman 8:28

If you’ve been in church any amount of time you’ve probably heard this verse a time or two (and probably more).  Think closely about the words of this promise.  God works for our good in ALL things.  He doesn’t say in just a few things or in SOME things.  He says ALL things.  That means the good as well as the bad.  

In an earlier post which can be found HERE, I wrote about the time that God spoke to me after my second father (Papa) passed away.  His words calmed me for a bit and eased some of the turmoil that was ravaging my mind. I also mentioned that throughout my entire grieving process, I had some really tough days, but it was His voice that would always quiet my soul and reorient me back to Him.  I would have never dreamed that losing Papa (one of the worst days of my entire life) would be used for my good. But, God did use it for something amazing because that’s just the kind of God that He is.

Let’s rewind to about 6 months prior to Papa’s death.  I had reached a point in my spiritual journey where I felt stuck.  Even though I had gone to church faithfully for my entire life, I could not wrap my head around God’s love for me.  I couldn’t understand how He would love ME and care for ME in spite of all that I was.  I struggled to comprehend the depth of it, though I earnestly desired to.  So, I began asking Him to help me to grasp His love for me.  I had read a book called Deeper, by Debbie Alsdorf, which told the story of how God had used Psalm 139 to bring healing to Debbie’s life by taking what she knew in her head about God’s love and planting it in her heart.  I knew that I desperately needed the idea that God loved me to be shifted from my mind and to become deeply embedded into my heart.  

I printed Psalm 139 out in several different versions of the Bible and began pouring over them.  I would spread them out in front of me as I knelt on the floor, begging God to help me understand His love and care for me.  I would read each verse slowly from all 4 different translations that I had printed out, just trying to find SOMETHING that would make it all click for me.  

This search continued until Papa passed away in July of 2008. My pursuit of understanding was put on the back burner (or so I thought) as I worked through my grief.  For the remainder of the summer, my mind was still clouded and my world was dark and gray.  I typically am not an emotional person, but for the next few months, I cried every single day.  I had never felt such deep sorrow.  I was advised by several friends to take my time grieving, so I took their words to heart.  I knew that I needed to grieve properly in order for healing to take place.  

About 3 months in, bitterness began to creep its way into my life.  How could God do this to me?  The only thing that made me feel better about losing my first dad was that my mom had married Papa.  If my first dad had not died, Papa would have never been in my life.  But now, they were both gone.  Why would God make my mom a widow at the age of 34 and then again at 59?  She still had many years left to live.  She had always served God and lived a good life.  She didn’t deserve this.  And what about my kids?  They had lost their grandfather whom they were very close to.  My flesh and earthly perspective took over and I forgot all about the fact that the trials and adversities in this life have purpose.  I lost sight of the promise that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine. 

Over time, I began to hate the way that I felt.  Bitterness just doesn’t feel good when it festers and festers.  It begins to bleed into all areas of life and can be a huge, unnecessary burden.  So, I told my husband that I was going to dig my heels in and work through the resentment that I was feeling.  He patiently supported me through the long, arduous process. I used my journal as my outlet and didn’t hold back as I wrote.  My entries were written to God because I knew that my healing could be found in Him.  But, I was pretty angry with Him, and I laid it all out.  I confess I said some pretty harsh things.  I lashed out, questioned Him, and said things that I never should have said.

A few months into this process, I was standing in the bathroom and picked up a copy of “The Message” (a translation of the Bible) and opened it to begin reading.  I’m not even sure why I was reading in the bathroom, but the exact moment will forever be etched in my memories.  I randomly opened to Ephesians chapter 3 and began reading where my eyes landed.

16 I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit – not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength – 17 that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, 18 you’ll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! 

The very second that I read, “Plumb the depths!” I felt every single bit of bitterness and anger that I had been carrying around COMPLETELY disappear and I felt an overwhelming, deep sense of love that was undeniably from God.  Think about it.  I had certainly tested its length.  And I had undoubtedly plumbed the depths.  I had said nasty things to God.  Things that He didn’t deserve.  Things that were terribly cruel.  And in spite of all that I had said, God loved me so much that He reached down and in a split second He healed my heart.  The healing has remained for 11 years and I’ve never once felt even an ounce of resentment since that day.  It was truly supernatural.

Can you see that God uses all things for our good?  Losing Papa was one of my absolute biggest fears.  Knowing that I would no longer have his love and support here on this earth again absolutely wrecked me. But, God had used one of the most tragic events in my life to answer my prayer.  He taught me about His love.  I finally got that He loved me deeply no matter who I am at the core of my sin-filled being.  Even when I had said nasty, hateful things to Him, He touched my heart and healed me.  That is something that only God himself can do.

Are you in need of healing in an area of your life?  Don’t Wait to ask God to mend you.  Remember that He can use every single thing to work for your good, to bring you closer to Him, to make you more like Him, if you will just allow Him to.  Reach out to Him and experience the breadth of His love.  He loves you more than you can fathom.  I know that I still don’t completely understand how deeply he cares for me because my human mind can’t even begin to comprehend that.  But, I do know that His love is immense and it’s His desire to bring you ever closer to Him.  It doesn’t matter if you are new to faith or a seasoned believer, ask Him to use every area of your life for His glory.  Do it today.  And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!

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