Cheryl Hilderbrand – Life Influencer #3

Thank you for such a wonderful response to my last post which can be found HERE.  It was obvious that Diane Shelton has touched many lives over the years. I hope she felt honored and loved by every comment and word that was written about her.

This week I am featuring a woman whom I am blessed to call Aunt.  My Aunt Cheryl has influenced my life many times over the years, but there was one summer in particular that she went above and beyond.  Let me give you a little backstory.

The spring after my dad died,  my mom got remarried. A kind, soft-spoken, Christian man, who was a single father of a 7-year old son, visited our church one Sunday my mom caught his eye.  Mom said as soon as they made eye contact, she knew he was going to call her. He did, in fact, just 2 weeks later. The next 3 months were a whirlwind and our family of 3 became a family of 5.  I was absolutely thrilled to have a new dad and brother. 

When summer hit, my aunt offered to take my brothers and me for 6 weeks.  She has 2 children who are right around our ages, so she knew it would be a fun summer for all of us. My parents were working hard to join two households and my Aunt Cheryl recognized that time alone was just what the newlyweds needed.  

I’ve often wondered if my Aunt Cheryl knew what she was getting herself into.  I was still extremely fragile emotionally as my dad had only been gone for about 7 months.  Back in the mid-eighties, the general consensus was that children were resilient and would bounce back after a loss.  There were no support groups and no one put their children in counseling. I can attest to the fact that this belief is wrong.  I did not know how to verbalize my feelings, so I simply cried. Alot. I developed a fear of more loss, so I needed an adult with me at all times.

I know that having 3 extra kids for 6 weeks had to be exhausting.  Meal preparations, laundry, cleaning, refereeing arguments between two 7-year olds, an 8-year old, an 11-year old and a 12-year old.  And then there was me. I was a full-time job all on my own. Aunt Cheryl never got a break that summer. Everywhere she went, I had to be with her.  And the times that she went out alone (because God knows she needed it for her sanity), I would stand at the door and cry while she left. I remember her dropping us off one night at a gym.  I have no clue what we were there for (maybe skating?) and I’m pretty sure they had to call her to come back for me because I was a basket case.  

But, as exhausted as she had to be, Aunt Cheryl never let me know.  I felt nothing but love and understanding from her. I remember crawling up in her lap countless times and she’d simply hold me close.  She let me be her little shadow that entire summer and I felt safe as long as she was around. 

Even though it was a very emotional summer, Aunt Cheryl still managed to make it a great one for us.  She bought all 5 of us kids our own pack of playing cards which brought about many, many games of War, Solitaire, Spit, and many others.  I learned how to swim that summer as we spent hours every day in her in-ground pool. The warm, Carolina sun is good for anyone’s soul, especially if water and cousins are involved.  We all had a favorite song during that summer, so Aunt Cheryl bought us all a 45 RPM album of our favorite songs. We would listen over and over and sing our hearts out. My favorite song that summer was “Hello” by Lionel Richie and I still feel nostalgic on the rare occasion that I hear that song.  

My Uncle Tony (whom I love with all of my heart, too) was at work during the week, but in the evenings and on weekends he was also an angel.  He was always so kind, loving, and patient with all of us. He is a quiet man, but his presence was also very reassuring for me.

The summer of ‘84 could have been very different.  It had the potential to be a very negative memory, but my aunt made it anything but that.  And, who knows, maybe I wasn’t as emotional as I remember being. Maybe this was just the way I felt inside. But, no matter what, voluntarily taking on 3 extra children and doing so with such grace deserves recognition, even 35 years later. Thank you, Aunt Cheryl, for loving me when I was probably tough to love. Being a mom now myself, I know that clingy kids can be very tiring.  You’ve been supportive of me my entire life and have made a difference in my life. 

And now for my dear readers:  Who had a huge impact on you as a child?  Who opened their home to you and showed you unconditional love?  Who has loved you through a major loss? Who spent time with you and helped make you the person you are today?  Don’t wait! Send that person a card, give them a call, send them a text, send them flowers, take them out to lunch, or make a simple video on your phone.  Let them know how they’ve impacted you. And then be sure to post about it on our Facebook page. Don’t wait until it’s too late! 

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