Don't Wait

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Honoring God With Clean Eating

May 6, 2020 /

Until just a few months ago, my diet was pretty sad.  I was a sugar addict and ate my fair share of processed foods, mainly just out of convenience.  I’m a busy mom and it’s much easier to throw a frozen pizza in the oven than to cut up and saute fresh veggies in order to start a healthy dinner.  Pathetic, I know.  Because of my eating habits, I just didn’t feel well.  I was sluggish, a bit on the depressed side, had bad headaches at least 3-4 days a week, and often had back pain.  My clothes were getting tight and I knew my eating was getting out of control.  I live in an area of the country that is cold 9 months out of the year, so there are long stretches of the year where I can’t get outside for much exercise.  I’ve also gotten into this terrible habit of eating comfort foods full of carbs and sugar, so I put on 10 pounds every single winter.  I don’t eat a lot, I just don’t eat the right things.  By Spring, I feel horrible, yet I continue to let the cycle continue.  God began convicting me that He has more for me.  

You see, our bodies and this life are a gift.  God has given them to us, so we should show our thankfulness by the way we treat them.  When we are given a gift, we typically take care of it in order to show the giver that we are appreciative.  We don’t misuse the gift or destroy it.  Why should our bodies be any different?

In February of this year, our pastor began talking about doing “The Daniel Fast” as a church because we would soon be in the season of Lent.  If you are unfamiliar with Lent, this is the 6 1/2 week period leading up to Easter Sunday.  It’s a time of reflection and remembrance for Christians as we remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us through His crucifixion and resurrection.  Many people “fast” or give up various things in order to better focus on the season. The small sacrifice of giving up certain types of food or an activity (such as tv or social media, for example) serve as reminders to pray as the cravings hit.  The Daniel Fast is based on Daniel 1:8, 12, 13, 15 which says,

“But Daniel resolved not to defile himself with the royal food and wine, and he asked the chief official for permission not to defile himself this way… ‘Please test your servants for ten days: Give us nothing but vegetables to eat and water to drink. Then compare our appearance with that of the young men who eat the royal food, and treat your servants in accordance with what you see.’ At the end of the ten days they looked healthier and better nourished than any of the young men who ate the royal food.”

The modern-day Daniel Fast lasts 21 days and is the cleanest form of eating you can find:  fruits, vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts, seeds, sprouts, etc. can be consumed.  On the other hand, meat, poultry, fish, white rice, bread, caffeine, preservatives, additives, white flour, sugar, etc. are to be avoided.  I knew that I was supposed to participate as soon as I heard our pastor announce the fast, but I absolutely DID NOT want to.  I casually mentioned it to my husband hoping he would blow the idea off which would make it easier for me to ignore what I knew I was supposed to do.  But, the opposite happened.  As soon as I mentioned it, he said, “I’ll do it.”  SIGH.  

I began doing some quick research because I had no clue what I was doing.  I found some Daniel Fast approved recipes and we headed to the grocery store.  I was surprised to find that healthy eating really doesn’t cost as much as I thought it did (the expense of healthy eating was a common excuse that I often used in order to avoid it).  The next day, the fast began and, I admit, I did not go into it with a great attitude.  The first week was HARD.  Cooking was time-consuming, I craved carbs and sugar, and wondered if it was all worth it.  We had family in from out of town at the end of the first week and they requested some of their favorite foods that can be found in our area of the country.  Their requests are also some of my favorites, so saying no to big, fresh donuts, pizza, and the most delicious ice cream sundaes I’ve ever had was difficult.  But, I persevered with a little bit better (but not much better) attitude.

By the end of the 2nd week, I started realizing a few things.  First of all, the amount of time it took to cook  was really not that bad.  I had to get creative with when to squeeze it in, but I was doing it.  Also, I was surprised at how much better I was feeling.  My body was getting rid of the crap I had put into it for years and my energy was increasing.  My weight was decreasing and my clothes were fitting better.  One of the most exciting realizations that I had was that I hadn’t had a headache in 2 weeks!  I knew that I was doing exactly what God had called me to do. 

The conversation I had with my husband on the 21st day (which was March 21) was shocking compared to where I had been when the fast began.  Instead of being excited that we’d soon be able to once again eat whatever we wanted, we were both a little sad that it was ending.  We were feeling the best we had felt in years and absolutely did not want to go back to where we were 3 weeks prior.  So, after a little tweaking, I am happy to report that we are still eating clean for the most part.  We have occasional “cheat days”  but overall, we are on track.  I’ve also added a little dairy simply because I like cheese and enjoy a periodic glass of milk.  We have continued to eliminate meat, white flour, white sugar, bread, fried foods, preservatives and additives, white rice, margarine, etc.  We are both down 10 pounds and are feeling great.  

Here are a few things I’ve learned from clean eating:

  1.  When God tells us that we need to exercise self-control, that includes our food choices.  Being controlled by sugar cravings is not pleasing to Him.
  2. I have much more energy when good things are going into my body.  The natural foods that God gave us fuel my body much better than manufactured and processed foods.
  3. Eating clean allows my body to stay at my natural body weight.  I was amazed by how quickly I dropped 10 pounds simply because I was able to rid my body of the terrible foods I had been eating.
  4. Cutting sugar from my diet has eliminated headaches.  There have been a few times on cheat days that I’ve eaten some sugar and within an hour or so my head is pounding.
  5.  God gave us life so that we can serve Him.  If I treat my body well, I will have the energy and focus to follow him well.
  6. I LOVE avocado!  I had always turned my nose up to this fruit, but it’s become one of my favorites.  It’s chocked full of nutrients and is easy to add to a variety of dishes.  I even enjoy slicing it in half and eating it with a spoon.  
  7. My rice steamer can be used for more than just rice, and I don’t know why I never realized this! Our favorite meal has become brown rice and beans.  I simply put brown rice, water, diced onions, green peppers, and celery, a can of red beans drained and rinsed, a can of Rotel, a tablespoon and a half of cumin, and a tablespoon of oregano in my steamer, turn it on, and within 25 minutes it’s all set to go.  Add some avocado and you have a filling, delicious, healthy meal.

My goal is to next get our children on board.  We’re not quite there yet.  As a matter of fact, as my husband and I were eating our black bean soup for dinner last night, one of our older teenage kids said, “I feel like you guys eat the same thing every night, just a slightly different color brown.”  I think it’ll take a bit of convincing to get her to join us.

I am only 9 ½ weeks into this, and I must rely on God in order to continue.  I still have sugar cravings at times, and I know that if I don’t stay on guard, I’ll be right back to where I was.  I’m praying that He will give me the strength to continue moving forward. Apart from Him, I can do NOTHING.  I hope this post inspires you to eat healthily.  We only get one life to live and we need to make the most of it.  Take the time to take care of yourself and serve God even with your diet.  And whatever you do, Don’t Wait!

A Prayer of Protection For Your Family

April 23, 2020 /

I absolutely hate the damage that I see happenng to so many around me.  No matter how much people are trying to stay in touch, disconnection is happening.  Online church services are great.  Zoom meetings are serving their purpose (sort of).  Facetime calls allow some connection.  But, face to face, human interaction can never be replaced.  I’m still so bothered at the thought of people dying alone.  I’m sad for parents who have to send their children into hospitals all by themselves (this happened to a friend and it wasn’t even COVID-19 related).  I hurt for families who are unable to visit sick loved ones.  I personally know of people who have recently died from natural causes (totally unrelated to the virus) and friends and families are unable to grieve together due to social distancing. Instead, meals, cards, and flowers are being left on porches as they talk to and cry with their loved ones from at least 6 feet away. Those who live alone are desperately lonely.  People are feeling desperate because they’ve lost their job and have no clue how they’ll feed their families.  Suicides are beginning to occur because people are scared, lonely, and feel hopeless.  I recently heard the story of a 99 year old man who committed suicide because he felt our current circumstances signified the end of time and he couldn’t bear to see the end result.  Imagine that.  He lived NINETY-NINE YEARS.  NINETY-NINE!!!  Can you imagine the things he had lived through and the things he had seen?  Yet, fear overtook him.  I’m afraid we will see more and more of this in the days and months to come.  I’m fearful of the psychological damage that is being done to people all across the world.

So, what can we do to combat this?  How can we protect our children?  How can we fight back against the fear, depression, anxiety, and hopelessness?  For my family, I’ve been using Psalm 91.  I think many people have been reading this Psalm as a cry for physical protection which is great.  The Lord has impressed on me, though, to pray this for my family for spiritual protection.  Ephesians 6:12 (NIV) says, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”  We have an enemy who is on the prowl.  He is walking around like a roaring lion seeking to devour us (1 Peter 5:8).  He WANTS us to feel despair.  He WANTS us to be depressed.  He enjoys watching us suffer.  He loves the hopelessness that many people are feeling presently.  We MUST be on guard.  Mommas, pray for your husbands and babies (no matter how old they are).  Daddies, pray for your wife and children.  Personalize Psalm 91 and pray this over your household.  

1 We who dwell in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 We will say to you Lord, “Our refuge and our fortress, our God in whom we trust.”

3 For you will deliver us from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence.

Let me stop right there.  With all that our world is facing right now, we, of course, read “deadly pestilence” and think coronavirus.  But, can I tell you something?  Yes, God CAN protect us from earthly things such as disease.  He never promised that He will, though.  Instead, the deadly pestilence I think of here is Satan’s schemes, spiritual harm.  God will absolutely protect us and deliver us from the things that can harm us spiritually.  And THAT’S what matters.  That’s where our hope lies.  

4 You will cover us with your pinions, and under your wings we will find refuge; and your faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

5 We will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

We will not fear the pestilence.  I was looking at the commentary “Barnes’ Notes on the Bible,” and this is what he said about the phrase “the pestilence that stalks in darkness” (Psalm 91:6)  (think of the coronavirus as you read this).  “Not that it particularly comes in the night, but that it seems to creep along as if in the night; that is, where one cannot mark its progress, or anticipate when or whom it will strike. The laws of its movements are unknown, and it comes upon people as an enemy that suddenly attacks us in the night.”  Sound familiar?  I’ve heard countless people say that this virus can be anywhere at any time and we will obviously have no clue because we cannot see it.  We have no clue whom it will strike next.  But, we cannot fear it because it cannot take our souls.  Our souls are what matter and spiritually, God has us covered with His wings.  

7 A thousand may fall at our side, ten thousand at our right hand, but it will not come near us.

8 We will only look and see the recompense of the wicked.

Think of that!  Satan is hurling thoughts of fear at our families.  He’s heaving the idea of hopelessness at us.  But, through God’s protection, he cannot come near us.  We will only look and see what he’s trying, but he will simply fall by our side.

9 Because we have made you, Lord, our dwelling place – the Most High, who is our refuge – 

10 no evil shall be allowed to befall us, no plague come near our tent.

Once again, this is not saying that we will never suffer physical harm.  A relationship with God does not ensure us an easy, pain free life.  It’s actually quite the opposite.   Though He loves us,  adores us, He allows pain.  Actually, BECAUSE he loves and adores us, He allows pain.  This pain perfects us, refines us, makes us more like Christ.  Instead, the plague that will not come near our tent is Satan.  The next time he tries to whisper lies to you, remember that when we dwell in the shelter of God and call Him our refuge, our fortress, our God, he cannot befall us.

11 For you will command your angels concerning us to guard us in all our ways.

12 On their hands they will bear us up, lest we strike our foot against a stone.

13 We will tread on the lion and the adder, the young lion and the serpent we will trample underfoot.

14 Because we hold fast to you in love, you will deliver us; You will protect us because you know our name.

He knows your name!  The creator of the universe knows your name.  He commands His angels to guard your thoughts and your mind.  Pray this for your family that you will be protected from that which can harm you spiritually.

15 When we call to you, you will answer us; You will be with us in trouble; You will rescue us and honor us.

16 With long life you will satisfy us and show us your salvation.

Think about the long life He will give us.  Once again, we aren’t looking with our human eyes, but instead with our spiritual eyes.  My dad was an amazing Christian man and the Lord saw fit to take him at the age of 37.  He didn’t live a long life here on earth.  The long life He will give us is in our heavenly home.  We are just passing through here.  The burdens of this world are only momentary when compared to eternity.

I copied this Psalm in my journal and have been praying it over our family every single day.  Here is the prayer I wrote at the bottom of the page:

“Lord, please hear us.  Protect us.  And not necessarily physically.   Pray we’ll all have our eyes on you and only you.  We can’t look at everything around us.  

Protect us spiritually.  I’m not concerned with physical – no matter what happens, I know eternity is all that matters.  I pray that all six of us plus future spouses and generations to come will follow you and YOU ALONE.  I do not fear physical threats.  Protect us, though, from spiritual threats.”

God’s desire is to cover us with His feathers. He wants to be our shield and buckler.  I encourage you to pray against the possible psychological effects that this period in history can have on your family.  Fear, despair, depression, and hopelessness are what Satan wants us to feel.  But, we have the HOPE and PROMISE of our God who will use all things for our good and who will answer us and be with us in trouble.  Keep your eyes on Him.  Don’t look to the right or to the left.  Ask Him to protect your family both spiritually and mentally.  And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!

25 Years of Friendship and Counting

April 15, 2020 /
2001

Do you have a friend or friends that you can really confide in?  Someone that you know will not repeat the things that you tell them?  I believe that everyone needs at least one such person. We need someone who will listen, speak into our lives, and pray for us.  God has surrounded me with an amazing group of women that I am blessed to call friends. I can actually look at each one and can tell exactly how God uses her in my life.  Some can call me out when needed because they aren’t afraid to speak truth into my life. Some are problem solvers and can help me figure certain issues out. Some are good listeners and will just let me talk while I process through life.  Some can make me laugh until my sides hurt and forget for a brief period of time that life can be tough. And some support me and pray for me while protecting my innermost thoughts without any judgment. In this post, I am featuring 2 such friends.  Let me give you a little backstory first.

In 1995, my husband of only a year was transferred to a new town in Virginia.  He had completed a two year program with his employer and was sent to a new location as a supervisor at a manufacturing plant.  I loved our new home and was ecstatic to be living in a town where my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins lived. This was the first time I had ever lived near that side of my family, so I was beyond thrilled.  The move was exciting until about 6 months in when I started to feel really lonely. Every time I’ve ever moved, the 6 month mark is always the hardest. That’s about the time that the excitement of a new place starts to wear off and I begin to need friends.  I’m the type of person that needs at least a few deep relationships in my life. I need girlfriends that I can call and chat with or that I can meet for lunch. I need girls that I can share my life with, bounce ideas off of, and who will support me in prayer when needed.  I began to pray and ask God for a close friend. He answered that prayer in a pretty cool way.

I first met Paula at church and we hit it off instantly.  She was enjoyable and easy to talk to and get to know. She was single, so she had free time in the evenings and weekends to hang out.  We would spend many hours on the phone just talking about whatever came to mind.  

Shortly after meeting Paula, I met Amy.  Amy was a bit more on the quiet and serious side (at least at first), but was also easy to talk to and always seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say.  I actually remember exactly where I was when I met her because she made such a big impression on me. She was married to Tim who got along well with my husband and they were an incredibly fun couple to hang out with. Many of our Friday or Saturday nights (and other nights in between) were spent hanging out and laughing with them along with Paula and her younger brother (he would always come along so that she didn’t feel like the fifth wheel).  By the middle of 1996, I realized that God had answered my prayer for a close friend by not only giving me Paula but by giving me Amy, also.

Paula’s wedding day

We were fortunate to attend a church with several other young couples (many who were not yet married but were dating or engaged) and there eventually was a whole core group of us who got close quickly.  We shared many life experiences with them all. Paula met her husband and got married. All of the other couples got engaged and married and soon we were all starting our families. We went to bridal showers, baby showers, Christmas parties, and birthday parties.  We were in a great place in life surrounded by a solid group of friends. In 2001, though, we knew that God was moving us to a new place. We said goodbye to our friends and moved on to our next step in our journey.

Over the years, we have stayed in touch with Paula and Craig, Amy and TIm, and all of our other friends from church.  We try to have a reunion with them every few years and can always pick up right where we left off. My relationship with Paula and Amy, though, has remained much deeper. The three of us have a text thread that is used just about every day.  We know the ins and outs of each other’s lives, from the trivial things in life to the dark, heavy things. These girls have celebrated victories with me and have walked through some extremely hard times with me. Everyone needs a Paula and/or Amy in their life.  Let me share a few things that I have learned from my 25 year friendship with Paula and Amy.

Left photo: The girls at a reunion in 2013
Middle photo: The guys in 2013
Right photo: The girls in 2018

We must be selective in whom we let speak into our lives.  Both Paula’s and Amy’s faith runs deep, so I know that any advice I get from them is sound advice. Sharing our deepest secrets with people who are negative or who will not point us to Truth can be very damaging.  

We must be careful with whom we share the intimate details of our lives.  I know for certain that whatever I tell Paula and Amy will go no further. I can trust them with anything that I tell them.  I do not worry about them gossiping or sharing things I’ve told them with others. I know that many of the things that I tell them will go with them to their grave.  THAT is a true friend.

We need friends who will pray for us.  Prayer definitely changes things. On my rough days, I can send a text to Paula and Amy and I know they will pray for me.  In the matter of no time, I can feel their prayers because God hears us and just wants us to ask for help.

This next point I feel very strongly about.  We must have friends who show grace and not judgement, especially as we share details about our husbands and children.  Proverbs 31:11-12 says, “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, not harm, all the days of her life.”  If I am blabbing my mouth about Earl and my children when I am frustrated with them (and oftentimes I am the one who needs the heart change, not them), they will no longer trust me and I will definitely not be doing them good.  I know that no matter what, Paula and Amy will love Earl and my kids and their view of them will not change. I would advise you, too, to be very choosy in whom you discuss your marriage and children with. Our goal should never be to smear our spouse’s and children’s name in the mud, but instead to seek Godly counsel while protecting their integrity.

Paula and Amy, I am so, so thankful for your friendship.  It’s such a joy to share in the successes and struggles of your lives.  I love watching you both grow and having a sounding board as our children are approaching adulthood.  I look forward to the coming years as we navigate the next phases of life. It gives me peace to know our friendship will last a lifetime. 

Dear readers, this life is hard!   If you already have a friend like Paula and Amy, be sure to tell them how much their friendship means!  Remember, life is short. Don’t Wait!!! Then, head to my FACEBOOK page and tell us about your friend. Or leave a comment on this blog.   We need others to walk alongside us and encourage us, just as God instructs. If you don’t have a close friend(s) that you can trust, God knows exactly who you need.  Pray for Him to send the right person along and whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!

Today I Cried

April 7, 2020 /

Written Sunday, April 5

I’ve been handling the tragedy that our world is facing pretty well.  I’ve been keeping positive, spending time with Jesus everyday, and simply trusting that He is in control.  But, today, I cried. I’m not a crier. I probably have a good cry MAYBE 5 times a year. It takes a lot to get me there and usually it’s hormones that push me over the edge.  Today, though, I had a cry that was not hormone-related and was several weeks coming.   

This morning, my husband and I got up early and arrived at Target right as it opened.  We knew that was the only way we’d get some of the items that we needed. The number of people in masks and gloves, the red circles that were 6 feet apart indicating where to stand at the check-out, the sneeze guards that are now between the cashier and the customer, and the weird dance we constantly had to do in order to reach products on the shelves without getting into other people’s 6 feet of personal space made me feel so heavy.  We then headed to Aldi which pushed me beyond what I thought I could handle. But, let me say this loud and clear. My faith still runs deep. I in no way doubt God or question His control. What I’m feeling, instead, is something that my Uncle Jim summed up perfectly in his comment on THIS blog post. I’m feeling sorrow.

Sorrow:  a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others. ~ dictionary.com

Read that definition again.  I think sorrow is something that every single person in the world has felt in the last few months.  I’m honestly not feeling sorrow for me. I’m feeling sorrow for the people of the world. Being out in public today brought all of the feelings deep within me to the surface and they emerged as soon as I sat down in my van.  My thoughts were a jumbled mess, so my husband took the extra long way home and listened as I sobbed and worked through all of my thoughts.  

Today I cried for all of the coronavirus victims that are in the hospital fighting for their lives all by themselves because their family members can’t stay with them.  I know a nurse who is working the front lines in a COVID hospital directly with patients who have the virus. She has talked about the fear in people’s eyes as they are being dropped off at the door.  These people are terrified as they have no idea what their next few days will hold and they have no family with them to comfort them.  

Today I cried for everyone who has had to drop a family member off at the hospital and couldn’t stay because of the risk of being infected themselves.  I can’t imagine dropping my mom, husband, or anyone else for that matter off at a hospital and then leaving. All I can think is, “God be with them.”

Today I cried for the people who have to die alone.  I’ve heard stories of families who have had to say goodbye through FaceTime or over the phone.  I truly have nothing else to say about that. It’s beyond heartbreaking. 

Today I cried for family members who can’t be with their loved ones during their final hours.  I had the privilege of being with my mother-in-law as she was transitioning from this life to heaven and there was no place I would have rather been.  Holding her hand and comforting her during her last hours did my heart so much good. It brought closure. I can’t imagine thinking of her dying alone.  So many people are not able to have this closure and the peace that comes from comforting their dying loved one during their final moments of life.

Today I cried for the people who have lost friends or family members (and not just from coronavirus) and are unable to grieve among family members due to social distancing. When we lose someone dear to us, the only tiny bit of comfort we are often able to find is within our family and friends who are experiencing the same emotions.  Being with loved ones who are also grieving brings a small sense of peace. I know of people who are currently grieving alone. Wives who have lost husbands, parents who have lost children, daughters who have lost fathers, sisters who have lost brothers. Can you imagine the loneliness and despair they must feel?   

Today I cried for the people who are having to watch the funerals of their loved one that lives states away over FaceTime and other platforms because unnecessary travel is forbidden.  There are funerals that are taking place with only a handful of people because groups of 10 or more are forbidden.  So much comfort can be found during visitations/wakes and funerals as people file through expressing their condolences and sharing fond memories and kind words about your loved one.  I can think of no greater way to honor someone’s life. But, that just isn’t possible at this time.

Today I cried for small business owners.  These people have put their heart and soul into their businesses.  They’ve invested their life savings into their companies. This is their livelihood and now they have no clue what will happen.  They’ve had to close shop and just hope and pray they can survive. They have family members and employees depending on them, but their hands are tied.   

Today I cried for the people who have lost their jobs or who will lose their jobs.  I have heard people continuously say they have been calling to apply for unemployment benefits for weeks, but they can’t get through because the Department of Labor’s system is overloaded.  I know we have a long road ahead of us and it’s going to take our economy a very long time to recover from this.  

Once my tears were dry, I began processing what had just happened.  “I really do trust you, God. Please don’t mistake my tears as mistrust.”  He gently reminded me of when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. He had received word that his good friend Lazarus was sick and had died.  So, Jesus, along with his disciples, headed to Judea so that He could heal Lazarus and raise him back up. As He was getting closer to the tomb, Mary, the sister of Lazarus, ran out to meet Him.  She was crying, no doubt sobbing, as she fell at the feet of Jesus. When He saw Mary and the Jews that were with her crying, “he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled,” (John 11:33). Jesus then began to weep himself.  But why? He knew He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead. He cried because He felt sorrow for His friends. He experienced that deep distress caused by loss and misfortune. Even though He knew the outcome, He was moved deeply in His spirit and felt troubled.  As this story came to mind, I went to www.biblehub.com and looked at a commentary to find out more about why Jesus cried.  Barnes Notes on the Bible says this, “It is right, it is natural, it is indispensable for the Christian to sympathize with others in their afflictions. Romans 12:15; “rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”  

If you are feeling sorrow during this time in our world’s history, do not feel bad about shedding tears.  Jesus himself did as He saw the grief that His friends were experiencing. On March 23, Max Lucado posted a simple sentence on his Facebook page.  It said this, “Grant yourself a good meltdown.” It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel sorrow. It does not show a lack of faith. It shows compassion, just as Jesus had.   Don’t Wait to let your emotions out. It’s normal. It’s biblical. It’s healing.

Fun Activities for Little Ones

March 31, 2020 /

Being quarantined isn’t easy, especially if you have little ones. I’ve been keeping in touch with some of my mom friends who have young kids and this time of social distancing is proving to be tough. I’ve decided a post with some activities to do using materials that are cheap and that you may probably have at home would be helpful.

Before getting into that, though, let me remind you of the importance of spending time with Jesus every day, especially right now. These days can suck the life right out of you. But, filling yourself with Him and His word daily is vital. He is your lifeline that will keep you sustained and filled up as I discussed in THIS post. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Once you do that, Don’t Wait to move onto some of these fun activities that your kids are sure to love.

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been homeschooling for 16 years. I also babysit to supplement our income a bit. I homeschooled one of the little guys that I used to babysit during his preschool years (2017 and 2018 school years) and have pulled some pictures of those years with him off of Facebook to share with you. If you try any of these activities with your little ones, please take pictures and share them on the Don’t Wait Facebook page found HERE.

Masking Tape Spider Web

This first activity we did in October around Halloween, but it can be done at any time. I made a spiderweb out of masking tape in a doorway and then gave Rian cottonball “bugs” to throw at the sticky web. He caught lots of bugs and had a blast doing it. This could also be done with wads of paper or any other light material you have at home.

Shaving Cream

Another fun activity is shaving cream. It’s cheap, smells good, and you can use as little or as much as you’d like. I’ve found that squirting it on a cookie sheet helps contain the mess. After writing some letters in the shaving cream, Rian proceeded to pretend his dinosaurs were playing in the snow. Be sure your child is old enough for this activity. You wouldn’t want shaving cream to end up in the eyes or mouth. If your child is too young for this, there is another activity at the end of this post that can be done in its place.

Painting With Water

During my junior and senior year of high school, I took a two year course in early childhood development. My teacher mentioned this next activity and I held onto it until I had children of my own. Pictured below is my youngest when he was 3. I would give him a plastic tub full of water, a paint brush, and a small paint roller. He would go outside and paint the porch from one end to the other. By the time he finished, the side he started with was dry, so he’d start all over again. This is a GREAT project that will keep little ones busy as well as build large muscles and coordination.

Painting Squares

During a unit on shapes, Rian made this cool painting that I believe ended up being framed by his mom. As you can see in the bottom of the picture below on the left, I used painter’s tape to make a grid on a thick piece of art paper. I then let him pick a few colors of paint and told him to fill in all of the white squares until there was no white paper showing. Once the paint was dry, I removed the tape which left perfect squares.

Small, Medium, and BIG Squares!

Also during our unit on squares, I cut small, medium, and big squares out of construction paper. This can be done in a few different ways. You could allow your child to make a collage of squares with no particular way of organizing them. If you choose this method, be sure to talk about the sizes as the pieces are being glued down, “Oh wow, look at that SMALL square. What about that one – is it big or small?” Or you can do this activity to work on following directions as I did with Rian. I first had him glue the big squares down. Next, he glued the medium size squares on top of the large ones. Last, the small squares were added.

Rubber Bands and Soup Cans

Rubber bands and soup cans. That has a nice ring to it! The first time I tried this with Rian, he was a bit too young. He didn’t have the hand strength which caused a good deal of frustration. So, we put it away for a few months. The next time around, it was a huge hit! This activity is super simple. Give your child a handful of rubber bands and any type of tin can. Have him/her put the rubber bands around the can. That’s it! This is another GREAT activity to build those muscles in their hands as well as hand-eye coordination. As you can see from the look on Rian’s face, this took a good bit of concentration.

Fruit Loops and Pipe Cleaners

This activity was both fun and yummy. I gave Rian a red, orange, yellow, green, and blue pipe cleaner along with a handful of fruit loops. He then matched the cereal pieces to the correct color of pipe cleaner and slid them on. This is the perfect way to build small motor skills as well as practice hand-eye coordination. The hole in the fruit loops is the perfect size so they won’t slide off as other pieces are being added. Since we didn’t have any purple pipe cleaners, the purple fruit loops were consumed by a certain 3 year old. Oh, and excuse the laundry pile. It’s an ever-growing pile that never really goes away.

Pipe Cleaners and a Colander

Here is another great activity to work on those hand-eye coordination skills. Flip a colander upside-down and push pipe cleaners through the holes. This captured Rian’s attention for quite some time. For even younger kids, a colander with bigger holes would probably be more appropriate.

Finger Paint With Pudding!!!

This is an activity that I did with all 4 of my children. Pictured below is my youngest child when he was around a year old. He always wanted to paint with his siblings, but I knew the paint would go straight in his mouth. So, finger painting with pudding was the perfect solution! Some of my kids didn’t enjoy this because they didn’t like the feeling of the pudding. Sekai had NO issues with that, though. I think he ate more than he painted. Of course, when he was finished, he went straight to the bathtub.

  • Trying to figure this whole thing out.
  • It tastes delicious!
  • He went straight to the bathtub!

I hope this gives you a few new ideas to keep your kids busy for a bit. If you try any of these, I’d love to see pictures. You can post them on the Don’t Wait Facebook page. And be on the lookout for a few more posts just like this. We will get through this together. Enjoy these days with your sweet babies. You’ve probably heard the saying, “The days go slow, but the years go fast.” There has never been a truer statement about parenting. Remember to draw your strength from Jesus and then have some fun with your kids. And whatever you do, Don’t Wait!

Social Distancing: We Were Not Created For This

March 23, 2020 /

Social Distancing:  the practice of maintaining a greater than usual physical distance from other people or of avoiding direct contact with people or objects in public places during the outbreak of a contagious disease in order to minimize exposure and reduce the transmission of infection.  ~ Mirriam Webster Dictionary

I’m really struggling with this whole social distancing thing.  This is not how we are wired. We were created for community. The Godhead Himself exists in community.  God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. When God created Adam,  “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’” Genesis 2:18 (NIV).  God then brought all of the animals He had created to Adam to see what he would name them. When he was finished, no suitable helper was found.  I had never noticed this before. Out of everything God had already created, there was nothing fit for Adam. Another human being was the only creation that could meet Adam’s needs.  We were made for human interaction. 

I thought I was handling things well until yesterday morning.  We watched our church’s live stream which happened thanks to a very small handful of people.  Just seeing our pastors and worship team and reading comments from our church family affected me way more than I thought it would.  I miss the feeling of community. I miss the deep relationships. I miss the physical contact. I just miss them.

And it’s not just church that I miss.  I miss going for walks and passing people without having to move 6 feet from them.  I miss going to the grocery store and seeing people who are relaxed and are ok with a little chit-chat.  Instead, I see people with fear in their eyes wearing masks and having to wait in line behind pieces of tape at the register so they don’t get too close to the person in front of them.  I miss meeting friends for lunch or coffee at a restaurant. I wish my kids could invite their friends over as we normally do, but we just can’t take any chances. I want my kids to be able to go for walks without having to worry about people yelling out their car windows because they shouldn’t be walking close together (this actually happened to a family in our neighborhood).  I don’t know when life will be normal again and it just makes me sad.  

Trust me, I get it.  I really do. For the sake of our older generation as well as people who are immunocompromised, this is the safest way.  As I shared in last week’s post, my mom and stepdad are in their 70’s. My father-in-law and his wife are in the same age bracket.  My grandfather is 91. All 5 of these people whom I love very much have had health scares in the last few years. Thoughts of them are what remind me of why we’re socially distant at this time.  We must protect the generations ahead of us as well as friends and family with underlying health issues. These are the people that will keep me going.

So, how do we get through the next several weeks like this?  After watching church online yesterday morning and decided to take a walk.  I bundled up (because it’s still pretty cold up here in the northeast) and my husband decided to go with me.  I have to tell you, the deep, uninterrupted conversation as well as the fresh air and sunshine did my heart and mind good.  During these long days, I have decided that I MUST connect with my husband alone every day. That will give us time to vent, talk through the latest scary news, share how we feel our kids are handling things, and talk about anything else that comes up, no matter how big or small. This way, we are not bogging down our children with our own feelings.  If you are a parent, I would encourage you to do the same. Our kids are a bit older, so it’s easy for us to go for a walk or ride without them. But, if you have little ones, set aside time at night or in the morning. It’s easy to get caught up in the craziness around us and neglect that all-important time with our husbands/wives. If you are a single parent, find a friend that you can talk to.  I feel this is vital at this time.

I would also encourage you to find time to get outside when the weather allows and also exercise in some way, even if it’s just for 10-15 minutes.  We have 3 days of rain forecasted for this week, so I’m going to have to get creative. I see Wii Sports, Just Dance, or an online workout in my near future.

Until life returns to our new normal (because I’m sure this experience will change us all in some way), I will remember that God sees us.  And though I am separated from most human contact, I am not separated from the love of Christ.

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall tribulations, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?  For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ~ Romans 8:36, 38-39

This is what I’m hanging onto today.  No matter how distant I am from people, God is not distant from me.  I’m sorry if this post seems dark and gloomy, but it’s just where I am with all of this.  My faith is not shaken and I will continue to say that God is good, no matter the outcome.  But, it’s ok for us to feel a wide range of emotions through this. I will continue to stay at His feet as I cling to Him and to His Word.  It’s the only thing that’s going to get me through. I would encourage you to do the same. I fully believe that making it through this in a healthy way is going to take being intentional about connecting with people in any way we can. DON’T WAIT to do this!  Check on your elderly neighbors. Call them or knock on their door to assess how they are. Of course, stand back if they answer, but I’m sure human interaction will make all the difference for both of you. Facetime, Google Duo, or Skype with friends or family members.  Tomorrow evening we are using Zoom to check in with our Journey Group from church. We typically meet on Tuesday evenings, so Zoom will have to do for now.

 I’d love to hear how you are handling all of this.  Please don’t hesitate to comment on this post or head over to the Don’t Wait FACEBOOK PAGE and post there.  We may not have been created for this, but together with God’s grace and mercy, we will be stronger when all is said and done!  In the upcoming days, make a point to connect with your family, friends, and neighbors. Most importantly, spend time daily with Jesus. He alone can fill you. He will sustain you and keep you in the coming weeks or months.   And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!

An Open Letter to COVID-19 Homeschool Parents From a Seasoned Homeschool Mom

March 18, 2020 /

I’ve gotten some texts today from friends telling me that after homeschooling their children for 2 days, they think I’m amazing and don’t know how I’ve homeschooled my children for the last 16 years.  While the compliments are kind, let me assure you that YOU are the ones that are amazing. I’ll tell you why.

1.  As a homeschool mom, I have all summer and every weekend to look over my children’s work for the year.  I can review, look over lessons, do my research, and plan for the year in a way that works for our family.  You, on the other hand, found out on Sunday that your children’s school was closed and on Monday morning your schooling at home began.  You had no time to plan and prepare.

2.  In a normal homeschool scenario, your child would have tons of classes to pick from at various places such as museums, churches, the zoo, and learning centers.  They could take classes in photography, engineering, writing, or science courses. They could play sports and take cooking, music, and art classes. They could go on field trips, play dates, and join chess clubs.  The sky’s the limit for these guys and we typically have to set a limit on outside activities or we’d never be home. But, you’ve been thrown into a situation where you are pretty much quarantined to your house, so you have no outlet during the day or in the evenings. You can’t take your kids to their usual dance classes or sports practices.  You. Are. Home. Period.

3.  We homeschool moms have had all year to learn along with our kids.  We’ve worked through all of the steps needed to solve that math problem and we know exactly how their curriculum is laid out.  You have not had that advantage. You are jumping into the middle of the school year and have missed the 6 ½ months leading up to this.  So, you’re scrambling to figure everything out.

4.  When I order my curriculum in the summer, I have the advantage of ordering a teacher’s edition if I so desire.  This way, I can teach the lesson (or at least refer to the lesson) and actually have the answers once my kids are finished with their work.  You, on the other hand, do not have that. You probably feel as if you’ve been thrown to the wolves as you try to remember what a prepositional phrase or gerund is.

5.  While homeschooling can be stressful, on any normal day, it’s nothing compared to the level of stress you are all facing.  Currently, our country is in a state that has everyone feeling like their life is upside down. You are dealing with your own emotions along with your children’s and that’s a lot to handle.

In other words, your circumstances are way different than mine.  You are at a serious disadvantage. So, if you’ve made it the last 2 days, you’re amazing!  I’ve seen several Facebook posts from moms who are scrambling to figure all of this out. Let me pass on a few tips that may help.

  1.  I’ve heard several of you say that your kids want to stick to their normal school schedule and get upset if a subject doesn’t take as long as it does at school.  Your homeschool day should not take as long as a regular school day because there are several things you are cutting out. You don’t have to wait for the entire class to line up, bathroom breaks, water breaks, changing classes, and so on.  Most importantly, they are no longer having to wait for an entire class of students to finish work. Once your child is finished and you know they understand, you can move on.  
  2. Our first few weeks of school are always rough.  It takes us a while to get into a groove and figure out exactly how our day should go.  If you or your child have been super emotional or frustrated, that’s totally normal. Give yourself a few weeks to figure things out and to find the schedule that works the best for you.  And if you lose your cool, apologize and move on. We all lash out at times.
  3. Make sure you are taking care of yourself.  Get up a little early for some quiet time before the busyness of the day begins.  Go for a run or walk after school. Put an educational show on for the kids and rest on the couch.  Get everyone in bed on time so you can get a halfway decent night of sleep (if there is such a thing for parents).  
  4. Take breaks!!!  Don’t try to sit for hours on end as you work your way through each child’s work.  You’ll burn out quickly. A ten-minute break can do everyone some good.
  5.  Your doubts are normal.  Am I covering everything with my children that I need to?  Do they fully understand? Are they going to get behind? How will they transition back into school?  All you can do is your best! Pray for strength and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
  6. Help your child work through their emotions.  This is probably your most important role right now.  I’ve loved having my children at home during emotional times in life such as the loss of grandparents.  I can stop what we’re doing and answer questions or console them as they work through their feelings. I know that most teachers are AMAZING at helping their students work through tough times in life.  But, no one knows your child like you. And can you imagine trying to help 20 students work through the emotions that they’re feeling right now? I’ve definitely seen a difference in some of my kids in the last few days.  Children often don’t know how to verbalize their feelings, so they may act out in weird ways. Your children are right where they need to be in the place they feel the safest and that’s right with you.
  7. I was asked today how I get anything else done during the day.  My answer? I don’t. I may get a few dishes in the dishwasher or one load of laundry put in the washing machine, but that’s about it.  My laundry piles up, the bathroom is never spotless, and my countertops are cluttered. I’ve learned to let some stuff go and give chores to my kids so my head stays above water.  They come first right now. In a few years, they will be gone and I’ll have plenty of time to clean.

As you navigate the next several weeks, just know that you have been assigned a huge undertaking.  Don’t judge homeschooling based on this experience. You have it much harder than those of us who homeschool on a regular basis.  I feel for you because our school days are pretty normal right now. Yours are not. Ask God for strength. He will give you exactly what you need.  And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!

COVID-19: Where is God in All of This?

March 16, 2020 /

I think we are all feeling like we are living in a world that is not our own.  My husband, Earl, and I were saying yesterday that we feel like we are in a poorly written movie.  This doesn’t even feel like my life. I honestly never thought I would see anything like this in my lifetime.  As a matter of fact, 2 weeks ago, Earl started telling me that we should perhaps start buying just a little extra when we go grocery shopping.  You know, just a few extra cans of beans and vegetables. I told him that I didn’t think that was necessary and that everything was going to be fine.  Boy, was I wrong. He called this one way before I saw it coming.

During times like this, it’s easy to become consumed with fear. “ What will the outcome of all of this be?  Will anyone in my family catch COVID-19? Will I lose any of my friends or loved ones to this monster? What if I can’t get food for my family?  What if I can’t find the cleaning supplies that I need to keep my family safe? What if…” Our minds could continuously run and run and run. It’s fear of the unknown that can grab hold of you during this time.  While we have NO IDEA what the next hour, day, or week will hold, our Creator knows the ending. Psalm 119:16b says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” Think about that.  He knew what every one of your days would be like before you were even conceived. He saw this virus coming when he created the world. I don’t know about you, but that brings me much comfort. He knows exactly what these days ahead will entail.

And that’s why we must trust Him.  We can tell Him our fears. We can tell Him how unsettled we feel.  In Psalm 62:5, 6 & 8, David says, “Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”  We can rest in Him. We don’t have to be fearful because our hope is in Him. I love when David tells us to pour out our hearts to him. God desires to have a relationship with us and wants to hear our fears and concerns.  

Some of you may have wondered why God would allow something like this to happen.  To that I say we may never know. I mentioned in my LAST POST that I went through a year of fear 20 years ago.  For the first several years of my life, I was a worrier.  In 1998, I begged God to make me closer to him because I was tired of my lack of trust.  It was the very next year that the fear began to set in and for a solid year I was consumed by fear and torment.  I couldn’t eat. I weighed a mere 106 pounds at the height of that period in my life. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t be alone because my thoughts would not stop.  My husband worked 3 twelve hour days a week and worked the evening shift (7p-7a). He was the supervisor of the shift, so that meant he was really gone from 6 pm – 8 am. He would then come home and sleep all day leaving me alone in a quiet house.  It was the loneliest time of my life. I had a brand new baby whom I was trying to take care of in the midst of this darkness. Earl would walk out the door in the evening and I would fall apart even more so than I had been during the day. I could not stand to be alone with my thoughts during the dark, quiet times of the night.  I’d call my mom or my grandmother and they would come and stay the night with me. There were many nights that I wouldn’t sleep for even a few minutes, so my mom would lay and read Psalms to me for hours on end.  

I slowly began to see that depression, fear, and anxiety were thorns in my flesh.  In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul mentions that he has a thorn in his flesh that he asked the Lord to remove 3 times.  But, this is what God said to him in verses 9-10. “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Paul then continued in that same verse, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”  I now consider depression and anxiety one of my most prized possessions because it keeps me dependent on Christ. If I don’t stay in His Word and keep myself tethered, chained, tied, and bound to His feet, I am an absolute mess.  My cry of, “Lord make me closer to you” in 1998 was answered in the most difficult, but beautiful way.  

So, to answer the question that I started 2 paragraphs ago with, “Why would God allow something like this to happen?”  I come to the same conclusion. I don’t know. BUT, I do know that while we are weak and scared right now, He is not. He is strong and will continuously give us strength through this time if we allow Him to.  In the book “Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God,” Francis Chan says this, “Not being able to fully understand God is frustrating, but it is ridiculous for us to think we have the right to limit God to something we are capable of comprehending.  What a stunted, insignificant god that would be!  If my mind were the size of a soda can and God is the size of all the oceans, it would be stupid for me to say He is only the small amount of water I can scoop into my little can. God is so much bigger, so far beyond our time-encased, air/food/sleep-dependent lives.”  I don’t know why things are unfolding the way they are, but I know that my complete and total trust must be on my Lord.

No matter what the outcome of all of this is, I will declare until I breathe my last breath that God is good.  And I don’t say that naively or flippantly. I watched my dad waste away to nothing as cancer consumed his earthly body.  I lived through the news of a high school boyfriend committing suicide. I heard my mother’s hyperventilating cries as she called to tell me that she had discovered that my 2nd dad had died in his sleep when she came home from work that evening.  I have watched my mother-in-law take her last breath as glioblastoma took over her body. I was witness to my grandmother’s mind being taken over by Alzheimer’s disease. But, I will continue to say, “GOD IS GOOD.” I don’t say those things for morbidity’s sake or for sympathy.  I say them to give credibility to what I am saying. I’m not a person who has never experienced pain and is blindly saying God is good. I am proof that even through the mess of life, He takes every single circumstance and uses them for His purpose. I have multiple stories of each of these circumstances that I’ve mentioned that prove God is good, even in the pain and uncertainty. 

I have no clue how all of this will turn out.  I’m sure most of us have people in our lives that are more susceptible to COVID-19.  My mom and stepdad, as well as my husband’s dad and stepmom, are in their 70’s. While they are all in good health, all 4 of them have had health scares in the last few years.  My grandfather is 91 years old. We all know that the elderly are severely impacted by this. BUT, I can’t let my mind go there. My mind will rest on God and His promises.  

You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.  ~ Psalm 26:3

Don’t Wait to set your mind on Him.  Ask Him to give you an eternal perspective.  Trust that even in the midst of the chaos we are living in, He sees it all and longs for us to cling to Him.  As you are going about your day, whether you are at work or socially distancing yourself and your children as they are out of school, check on your neighbors.  Now is the time to be the hands and feet of Jesus. Watch for elderly people in the grocery store and give up a few of your cans of beans or Clorox wipes for them.  Just as Jesus came to earth to serve, so we are called to do the same. Reach out to others. Love them as you love yourself. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!

Sticky post

Don’t Wait to Parent With Peace

March 10, 2020 /

We are living in an age that can be very scary as a parent.  The world seems very upside-down and we are witnessing our country experience major changes.  We know that there is an enemy who is out to destroy our families, so we must be on guard. Through my years of parenting, I’ve discovered that there is only one way to parent well and that is by being in God’s word every. single. day.  I can’t stress this enough. Notice I didn’t say we must read the latest parenting books or ask Siri or even friends for wisdom. Those things can be useful and very beneficial, but at the end of the day, only God Himself knows what is best for your family.  

Even though I was raised in church, this is not a discipline that I practiced until later in life.  I would read a few times a week and I fully believed in God and everything that He promised, but it took going through a deep depression to realize how much I NEED God, especially as a parent.  A few years ago, my pastor was preaching a sermon and used John 15:1-5 as a reference. John 15:5 really stuck out to me (though I had heard it a million times) and the last part has become my mantra.

“I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; APART FROM ME YOU CAN DO NOTHING.” (my emphasis added)

“Apart from you, Lord, I can do nothing.  Apart from YOU, I can do nothing. Apart from you, I can do absolutely nothing.  Apart from you, I can do nothing.” This is my cry throughout the day, nearly every day.  And guess what? He gives me exactly what I need. We absolutely cannot parent in the times that we live in without spending time with Him DAILY.  It’s hard, I know. You’re tired. You’re running here and there. You’re up late with your newborn. You’re chasing your toddler all day. You’re working your job.  You’re cooking dinner. You’re driving your children to games, practices, and classes. Our lives have become insane! BUT!!! Time with the One who created us, who sustains us, and who gives us peace is a necessity.  

When the alarm goes off in the morning, it’s tough to not continuously hit the snooze button until the last possible moment because you are exhausted and running on fumes.  But, Don’t Wait to take the time. Get up 15 minutes early. If your kids are wired the way mine are, they probably have some sort of radar that lets them know when you are awake, so they will get up, too.  I have to admit, I would often stop reading when this would happen and would move on with my day. If I could go back, though, I never would have done that. I would have found the time. I know that it would have made me a better mom, one with more peace. If your children wake up early, as mine inevitably did, get down on the floor while they play and read next to them.  Think about what that will teach your child. Or take time during their nap while the house is quiet. You could also try turning a movie on to entertain them for a bit (I’m giving you permission – it isn’t going to hurt them). Or how about after they’re in bed? Breast-feeding mommas, read during a few of your feedings throughout the day. Whatever it takes, you cannot afford to skip this! Over time, 15 minutes will turn into 30 and 30 into 45.  It’s like any other healthy relationship. The more time you spend with Him, the more you’ll find any moment possible to do so. The relationship will just get deeper and deeper and sweeter and sweeter.

Here are just a few benefits I’ve found of spending time in God’s Word:

  1.  Spending time in God’s Word will keep our hearts in the right place as we guide our children.

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  Hebrews 4:12 

I see two specific things in this verse that stick out to me.  First, God’s word is alive and active. This is why even though I had read John 15:5 over and over, it didn’t stick out to me until a few years ago.  You may feel you know what the Bible says, but reading a verse one day and reading the same verse a few days later can impact you in a different way. Also, His Word judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.  As parents, we must constantly allow God to judge our thoughts and attitudes. And how does He do this? He speaks to us as we pray and spend time reading the Bible. We are responsible for guiding our children and if our thoughts and attitudes do not line up with God’s Word, we will do a poor job of this.

  • 2. Spending time in God’s Word will guide you as you are making critical decisions concerning your children.  

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.  Psalm 119:105

We need God to guide us, especially in the times we’re living in.  We’re navigating unchartered waters as we parent during this age of technology.  Our children (even our little ones if we aren’t careful) are inundated with information that we did not have access to when we were kids. Porn is easier to access, videos and ads expose them to the evils of the world such as mass shootings, diseases, and other matters that they do not need to worry with (even if we try to shield them, their friends will fill them in), and cyber-bullying is a concern because their peers can hide behind a screen. A very wise older woman at church pointed out to me that our generation cannot ask older generations of parents for advice on social media and technology because they didn’t have to face the decisions that we are having to make.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been praying for wisdom concerning issues such as this and a verse will pop out that points me in the right direction. He alone knows what works best for my kids. If we ask Him, He will guide us through His Word during these uncertain years.  

I heard a sermon on this verse (Psalm 119:105 from above)  years ago by Pastor Jerry Gillis at The Chapel at Crosspoint and it has stuck with me.  He said the lamp that David is referring to is not a modern-day lamp that lights up the entire room.  It’s an oil lamp that illuminates only a small area. So, God shows us a step or two at a time. This is why we must be consistent in our time with Him.  We can trust that He will guide us through each little step that we take when we are in daily communion with Him. We don’t have to look way down the road with fear. That should bring such PEACE!  We don’t have to make decisions regarding our children on our own. He gives us the wisdom that we need.

  1.  3. Spending time in God’s Word enables us to parent peacefully.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

This is a verse I memorized when I was deep in depression 20 years ago.  It has gotten me through some very dark times in life. Let’s take a look at what it says.  First, we don’t have to worry! There are so many things to think about, past, present, and future, as we parent our children.  Instead of fretting over these concerns that are often far beyond our grasp, we should pray. It’s that simple. Pray, tell Him what you need, and thank Him for all He’s done. When we do this, we will experience PEACE that won’t make any sense.  How can we have peace when our children are at risk of contracting the latest virus or when they have to go through lockdown drills at school in case there’s ever an armed madman in their school building?  It’s because of Christ. His peace truly will guard your heart and mind. I am proof of that. I’ll share my rocky journey into motherhood at some point, but just trust me when I say I started out as a very nervous mother that was so consumed by fear that I could barely function for the first year of my firstborn’s life.  But, time in His Word daily has taken all fear away.  

  1.  4. Spending time in God’s Word gives us strength.

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?  Psalm 27:1

I would encourage you to read the rest of Psalm 27.  It’s a great reminder of why we need God. He will give you the peace, strength, guidance, and wisdom you need to make it through these scary, uncertain, exciting, and precious years you have with your children.  Don’t Wait to begin this practice. I’ll be honest, I am only 4 and a half years into making this a priority every single day even though I have attended church the entire almost 44 years of my life. I cannot tell you the difference it’s made in every area of my life.  I no longer live in fear, especially as I raise my children. God gives me a peace that I cannot explain and I so desire for you to have the same. Take the time to make God the number one priority in your life. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!!!

Missy Stovall – Life Influencer #6

March 2, 2020 /

Throughout my almost 21 years of being a mother, God has surrounded me by a pretty amazing group of mommas to walk this journey with me.  Being responsible for teaching, molding, guiding, and disciplining another little human can be a daunting task. Doing it alongside others, though, can lighten the load, especially when we find women who have a bit more experience. Today’s post features a long time friend who became a family member 25 years ago.  She has influenced my life as a mother more than most others simply due to her time and openness. 

Missy and her husband, Duane

I met Missy Stovall at church when I was a small girl.  She was 5 years older than I, so I always looked up to her.  She always took the time to spend with me and often called me her little sister.  I had always wanted a big sister, so I loved her sentiment. She was never too cool to come to my house and would invite me to hers despite our age gap.  In my 8-9-year-old mind, she was the coolest teenager EVER. When Missy got married in 1989, she asked me to be a bridesmaid. I was absolutely THRILLED to be a part and was ecstatic that she had married the son of my mom’s best friend.  I knew this meant that Missy would always be in my life in some way. Fast forward to 1993 when I began dating my husband, Earl. Earl is cousins with Missy’s husband, Duane, so our marriage in ‘94 further sealed the deal that Missy was officially family.  Our husbands are super close and refer to each other as brothers instead of cousins, so she is my sister-in-law and “Aunt Missy” to my children.

Missy’s wedding, 1989

Missy started having children 8 years before I did and had her last child the year before Solomon was born, so she has always been a season ahead of me in life.  I am the type of person that is observant of other people. How do they parent? How is that working out for them? And so on. Missy is a mother that I look up to more than most others.  I’ve watched her mother her children with love and grace. She is grounded in her faith and bases her parenting on God’s Word. She prays for her children, allows them to make mistakes, is always patient and kind, and uses wisdom in her decisions.  

Missy and her family when she was in the stage of life I am currently in (except I have one more child)

500 miles separate us, but when I have the chance to visit with Missy, I love to just listen and take in all of her wisdom.  She openly shares her struggles of being a mom as well as her delights. Her stories of her children and the way she handles each situation that comes along always resonate with me.  I frequently receive texts from her with encouraging verses, memes, or messages that simply say, “I am praying for you today.” She now has 3 grown children so, she uses her hours that were once spent taking care of little ones to cheer on moms like me that are in the throws of the preadolescent and teenage years.

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

As my kids enter into their adult years, I am constantly looking to Missy for wisdom.  My kids are currently 10, 15, 17, and 20 and by the end of this year, I will have 2 adult children (I still don’t know how I’m old enough for that to happen).  As our babies become adults, the dynamics of the relationship begin to change. They no longer need momma as much as they are becoming independent and can handle things on their own.  Sometimes that’s hard for a momma heart to take. You KNOW it’s coming, you KNOW it’s healthy, but it’s not easy. I recently sent Missy a text to let her know that our oldest is getting an apartment and will be moving out this summer.  Her very first response was “How are YOU?” She completely got it. She didn’t ask where he was going or if he’d have a roommate. She immediately checked on me. She consistently uses her experiences to empathetically reach out without any judgment or unsolicited advice.  

The sweet family that Missy and I married into back in 2009 at our husbands’ grandfather’s funeral
Taken in 2012 when my mother-in-law passed away
Family Vacation 2019

Miss, thank you for using your experiences to be a motivator and supporter.  Thank you also for modeling how to love my children in a Christ-like way and for relating to challenges that I face.  I looked up to you as a small girl and I still do. Your insight is priceless and I will forever be thankful for your influence on my life.  I love you!

A recent picture of Missy with her family

And now to my readers, I often wonder if anyone else is taking this journey with me (click HERE to find out more).  Have you thanked any of your life influencers? Have you written a card or sent flowers to a mom who is a season ahead of you and shares her knowledge with you?  Have you taken that person out to lunch that impacted your life as a child or teenager? If you haven’t DON’T WAIT! One day it will be too late. Remember to follow us on FACEBOOK and let me know about your interactions with your life influencers.  Whatever you do, Don’t Wait!

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