It was December 26, 2015 when my phone rang. It was one of my closest friends calling, but I was in the middle of something with my children, so I didn’t answer it. “I’ll call Kim back a bit later,” I thought. Within a few minutes, my phone rang again. This time it was another close friend. I had this nagging feeling that something was wrong.
“Kendra?” my friend said. “I just got a call from Phil. Kim is very sick and is going in tomorrow for brain surgery. It looks like she has 2 tumors.”
My mind reeled as I tried to make sense of this news. I had just seen Kim 3 days before at Red Robin. She and her husband, Phil, had just adopted 3 sisters out of the foster care system and had gone out for a celebratory meal with their families at the conclusion of their court appearance. I just happened to be there with my family and spotted them from across the restaurant. When I walked over to say congratulations, she had looked so good, so healthy! She was beaming because the adoption was final at long last. I had been with her the day the caseworker called to let her know that the official court date had been set and I had seen her excitement. It had been a long road and she was thrilled that the 3 girls were going to finally, officially be part of their family.
When I hung up the phone, I sat and reflected over the past few months. There were definitely days when Kim didn’t feel well, but she had found out that she was pregnant 3-4 months before, so that made sense. She had been very worn down and just generally didn’t feel well. We had planned to run our local YMCA’s Turkey Trot together that year, but she had to back out. I didn’t think anything of that, though. She was a busy momma with 5 children ages 6, 7, 10, 11, and 12 who was in her first trimester of pregnancy. Of COURSE she didn’t feel well! It only made sense.
On the day that I saw her at Red Robin, Kim remembers being there with her family, eating lunch, and then leaving. She even remembers seeing me, but all memory after that is gone. I believe she told me that the next memory she has is several weeks after that day. Within a day or so, she became very sick and began to throw up. This continued through Christmas Day, so she decided for the sake of the little one that she was carrying inside of her to head to the ER.
My husband and I went to the hospital to see Kim the night of her surgery. When I walked in and saw her laying with a partially shaved head and hooked up to IVs and other wires, nothing made sense. This was my healthiest friend. She ate all of the right foods, took every vitamin and supplement that her body needed, and was in amazing shape. She didn’t even have a microwave in her house nor did she use her cell phone very often because of the possible radiation that both of these could emit.
As I held her hand to pray for her, the peaceful look on her face never faded. She was still under the effects of anesthesia, so she had no clue I was even there. I knew that her serene countenance was because of the peace that only God can give.
The biopsy revealed that Kim had 2 different types of tumors – one on her brainstem (glioblastoma) and one on her left frontal lobe (gliosarcoma which is a subtype of glioblastoma). Both of these tumors are extremely aggressive and Kim’s case was especially surprising because having these 2 different types of tumors together is extremely rare. To complicate things even further, Kim was pregnant, so there was not just one life to consider, there were 2.
My husband and I had watched my mother-in-law battle this same monster just 3 years before, so we knew what kind of fight Kim was about to begin. Steroids, chemo pills, radiation…glioblastoma is a nasty beast. But, Kim chose to put off treatment in order to protect her baby. My mother-in-law made it 7.5 months after her diagnosis and that was with treatment. Delaying the regimen for someone in Kim’s situation would no doubt be a mistake when looking with a carnal mind. But, Kim chose to view her life through a spiritual lens. She chose to live out one of her absolute favorite verses.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. ~ Proverbs 3:5-6
This is exactly how Kim lived her life from Dec. 27, 2015 through April 8, 2016. Every two weeks she went in for scans and repeatedly heard, “You have yet another clean scan!” from her doctor at Roswell Park Cancer Institute. We all sat back and watched in awe as Kim recuperated from her surgery (which was a very tough recovery) and then lived a miracle right out in front of all of us to see. The Lord kept her strong, stunted the growth of the tumors which resulted in headache-free days, and gave baby Wyatt ample time to grow.
One morning in early April, my phone rang. “Kendra?” It was Phil. “I have to take Kim to the hospital. Can I drop some of the kids off with you?” My heart sank. What was going on??? Phil could tell from the way I was fumbling over my words that I was confused. He let out a chuckle and said, “Oh, Kim’s fine. We’re pretty sure her water broke.” I breathed a huge sigh of relief, yet said a quick prayer because the baby was not due to arrive for several more weeks.
After a few long days of labor, baby Wyatt Eli (meaning “little warrior sent by God”) was born. At just 34 weeks, he arrived weighing in at 4 pounds and 7 ounces. He spent a week in the NICU and then was sent home with his family. The little guy had lived up to his name. He had survived his mother’s extremely dangerous surgery in utero and then had fought for 3.5 more months while he continued to grow.
Kim had trusted in the Lord with all of her heart even though things didn’t make sense. In turn, He made her path straight as He strengthened her day after day and kept the tumors from growing.
There were some folks who didn’t understand Kim’s choice to choose life for Wyatt. When her story first broke on our local news, it quickly went viral. The AP News, Daily Mail, people.com, CBS News, FOX News, ABC News, Yahoo, The Today Show, Cosmopolitan, God Vine, The National Post, Popsugar, heavy.com, and many other national websites picked up her story. We had to tell her not to read any of the comments on each of these sites as people can be mighty cruel while hiding behind their computer screens. One comment that has stuck with me said something like, “Why would this mother make such an awful choice? What about her other 5 children? They deserve to have their mother around. Why would she choose ONE child over the other five?”
Fortunately, these people are only a small part of the story. Kim began to receive support from all of the U.S. as gifts began to pour in. Money, food, diapers, baby gifts, etc. arrived every day. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen so many boxes of diapers and what a blessing that was. The best gift Kim received was from God Himself. She was given an amazing platform to share her faith with thousands of people. The naysayers were able to watch as God blessed Kim’s efforts to save Wyatt by giving her a reprieve as her baby developed and grew.
Just a few short weeks after Wyatt was born, though, a scan showed that one of the tumors was back. I think we all felt the wind leave our sails upon hearing the news. But, true to Kim’s character, she jumped back in the ring and continued to fight.
I am happy to report that 5 years later (we just passed the 5th anniversary a little over a week ago), my friend is still here. The only explanation I have is that she is an absolute miracle. She was told in the beginning that she would probably die within a year. Glioblastoma as well as Gliosarcoma usually have a very grim prognosis. But, we know that, as thankful as we are for the medical community, they don’t have the final say so. God saw fit to give Kim 5 times (and counting) the number of years she was expected to live.
This brings me to the reason that Kim is a life influencer for me. These last five years have been a roller coaster. More surgeries, chemo, radiation, gamma knife treatments, steroids, headaches, light sensitivity, days on end in bed, mini-strokes, many types of pills, hospital stays…this list could go on for a mile. Yet, I’ve never once seen her faith shaken. She has the kind of faith that I seek to have. She challenges me to continue to trust the Lord with all my heart, no matter where life takes me. I pray that if I am ever given news like Kim was on that fateful day in December of ‘15 that I will not even attempt to lean on my own understanding. My desire is to forever acknowledge Him in all my ways and remember that His ways are higher than mine. Kim lives every day with an eternal perspective as she always tells me, “I’m just waiting for God to tell me where to go next.”
I don’t know what is going to happen to Kim. There is no cure for these tumors, so without a complete miracle, she will not be here with us forever. But, she is ok with that, so I have to be, too. I have heard it said that complete trust in God is trusting Him for the healing of every ailment here on earth. But, I disagree. Complete trust means turning our lives over and saying, “Lord, whatever you have for me, I’m ok with it. No matter where you take me or how hard the road gets, I will trust you. Use me for your glory.” Kim has done just that. On her toughest days, she still declares, “God is good.”
She has this peace because she knows of the eternal reward she has waiting for her. She recognizes that this life is not the end-all. If we believe in Jesus Christ and accept the gift that he has given us, then we are citizens of heaven, not of this earth (which I have no doubt stated many times in other posts).
I pray you have been as touched and challenged by Kim’s life as I have been. With all that is going on in our world, we should strive to have the kind of faith that she has. It’s the only way we are going to make it through life with peace. Ask the Lord to help you to keep an eternal perspective daily. And whatever you do, DON’T WAIT!
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